Zim's Mate
by Invader Sam
Summary: They say there’s someone out there for everyone in the universe…Is there someone out there for Zim? Chapters 22 is up now! The Tallest get stuck in an airport overnight and Zim & Zia leave the twins with the robots while they go to skool!! ^_^
1. Prologue

Zim's Mate  
  
By Sam  
  
They say there's someone out there for everyone in the universe…  
  
Is there someone out there for Zim?  
  
Prologue  
  
Fate decided they should be together, so why would it separate them?  
  
It was late afternoon on planet Irk. It was a day like any other during the reign of Tallest Blu, just like any day for the past 225 years. But Blu's health was failing as he aged, and when the pressures of state got to put to much strain on his Squeegily Spooch, he found ways to calm himself. His favorite method was a visit to the Nest, and that's where he was heading this particular evening.  
  
He glided through the Palace entrance as he always did, and he moves so silently that no one even noticed he was there. For some reason, it did him good to be their, surround by youth. It seemed to breathe life back into him. He drifted idly into the Infant's Nursery, strolling down the aisles of cribs, taking time to look at each hatchling individually.  
  
As he drifted along, he came to the end of an aisle where the Head Nurse, Pon was standing over a small glass dome that appeared to be covering a small crib. Blu came up behind her quietly and asked, "What's going on?"  
  
Pon was so startled, she jumped, putting a hand on her chest and looking quickly behind her. "Oh, my Tallest," she said, "We weren't expecting you, today."  
  
Blu put a hand up, trying to calm her. "No need to be nervous, Pon. What's that you've got there?" He gestured to the domed crib behind her.  
  
"Oh," Pon's expression saddened, "Well, look…"  
  
She stepped aside and Blu peered down into the crib. Sleeping on the mattress was the tiniest Irken baby he'd ever seen – barely even six inches long. The tiny creature had tubes attached to its head and chest with suction cups and a vast array of monitors were posted above the crib. The monitors showed that everything was working properly, but slowly, and on a much smaller scale than usual. Blu's face fell as he watched the tiny baby, and he turned the Pon for an explanation.  
  
"He wasn't supposed to be born yet," Pon said sadly, "He had another two months to incubate, but something went wrong and the Cold Unfeeling Robot Arm activated him yesterday night. His Squeegily Spooch is underdeveloped…we don't know how much longer he's going to last…" She turned her eyes to the floor, antennae drooping.  
  
Blu pressed a hand to the warm glass dome, his heart aching. He'd never really liked children in his younger days, but this one just touched him. "Have you named him?"  
  
Pon shook her head. "No," she said, "We didn't think it would be worth it to name him and then lose him."  
  
Blu stood up straight, still looking down at the tiny baby. "Well, there's your problem," he said, "If you don't think he'll live, then he won't. You're almost sentencing him to death by not naming him."  
  
Pon looked surprised. "Do you really think that matters?"  
  
Blu nodded. "You bet I do. When you've lived as long as I have, you see enough things that make you believe that there really is a god out there somewhere." He smiled down at the baby, "And I'm gonna name this one – just so God knows he can't take him away from us yet."  
  
Pon looked up at her Tallest admirably. "What will you call him?"  
  
Blu considered for a moment. "Zim," he said at last. As soon as the word was spoken, the name appeared in typing on the side panel of the baby's crib, with a blue dot next to it, to show who he had been named by. Blu smiled, satisfied with is work.  
  
Then a small voice cried out behind them and they turned. In the crib next to Zim's, a baby Irken female was standing up, holding the bars of her crib, smiling at the baby in the dome. "Zim…" she said, cocking her head at him.  
  
Blu smiled and leaned down to look at the little girl with dark green eyes and curled antennae. "And who's this little lady?" he asked. He held out a hand and she grabbed it in both of hers, smiling up at him.  
  
Pon looked at the scene warmly. "This is Zia. She's almost a year old now."  
  
"Zia, eh?" Blu said, watching the girl hold his hand tightly, "Cute little thing, isn't she?"  
  
Pon nodded. "Yes, sir. Very smart, too. We think she's destined to be a Diplomat."  
  
"Well, we can always use more of them. Seems all the kids are being sent to the army these days," Blu said.  
  
"Well, we are in the middle of a war, sir," Pon reminded him.  
  
Blu groaned, "Don't remind me," he said, "I came here to forget about all that for a while."  
  
Pon bowed her head. "Sorry, sir."  
  
Blu straightened up, putting a hand on his back, the other hand still held by Zia. "It's all right. But I'd better be going. The doctors will worry if I'm missing for too long," he grinned at Pon, "They think I'm going senile, or something."  
  
She grinned back, "I can't imagine that ever happening, sir."  
  
"Good," Blu said, then turned to Zia, "I have to go now, Zia. You watch out for Zim now, won't you?"  
  
The baby girl nodded and released her leader's hand. "Bye bye," she said, waving at him.  
  
Blu patted her head gently and floated out of the room. Once he had entered the Palace again, he put a hand on the wall and began to cough violently. When he stopped, he took a ragged breath and closed his eyes, brows furrowed in concentration. Finally, his breathing became normal again and he continued on his way back to his quarters.  
  
Back in the Nursery, Pon heard Blu's coughing fit and frowned worriedly. Behind her, Zia was trying to crawl out of her crib and reach Zim. She grunted from the effort and Pon turned around. "Zia!" She grabbed the little Irken around the waist and tried to set her back in her crib, but she would have none of it. She flailed and cried out, wondering why she was being stopped from following her Tallest's orders.  
  
Suddenly, the monitors above Zim began to pick up speed, almost reaching normal levels. Pon turned to see, stunned, as Zim's eyes opened and he sat up, looking around him. He turned towards Pon and Zia and waved a tiny hand at them.  
  
"I don't believe it…" Pon mused.  
  
"Zim!" Zia cried out happily, clapping her hands.  
  
The two babies locked gazes for a short moment while Pon called to the other Nurses to come and see.  
  
* * *  
  
Years had passed and both Zim and Zia were in the third level of the Nursery, with all the other children of their age, including Lark, Spleen, Scooge, and Tenn, to name a few.  
  
Zim had grown a good deal, but he was still smaller than all the other children, and he was constantly teased about it. Today a small group of Irkens who were a few years his senior had decided to play "Keep Away" with one of his favorite toys. They were laughing as he grew more and more frustrated with them.  
  
An Irken boy named Scud snickered, "Look! The little baby' gonna cry!"  
  
Zim bit his tongue angrily, trying as best he could to hold back tears, while the others laughed again.  
  
Then an angry female voice was heard from behind where the group had circled around Zim. "Hey! Cut it out!" The bullies looked around and found Zia standing behind them, fists clenched, growling at them. Lark, Spleen, Scooge and Tenn stood behind her, looking nervous.  
  
Scud chuckled, "Heh heh…what're you gonna do about it? Lecture me?"  
  
The jerk had barely gotten to laugh at his own joke when Zia's fist made contact with his jaw, sending him reeling backwards. He glared at her, furious, and lunged towards her. He hit her full force and they went rolling across the floor of the play room, fists flying. Before long, Zia was on top of Scud, yanking hard on his antennae. He pounded the ground, crying out in pain.  
  
Just then, Rul, the Level 3 Nurse burst into the room. "Children!!" she cried, rushing towards the fight. As she got their, Zia let go of Scud's antennae and stood up. He scampered across the floor, putting a few feet's distance between them.  
  
"He started it," Zia said.  
  
"I-I did not!" Scud said, "She attacked me!"  
  
Rul looked from one group of children to the other, not sure who to pin the blame on. Scooge took a timid step forward. "It wasn't really Zia's fault, ma'am," he said, "Scud was picking on Zim again and -"  
  
Rul put a hand up and he silenced. She glared at Scud and the other older children. "Why are you in here, anyway?" she asked, "Shouldn't you be in Level four?"  
  
The kids all looked at each other, and nodded guiltily. Rul sighed and grabbed up Scud by the collar of his tunic and carried him off, with the other Level 4 kids following reluctantly after her.  
  
Tenn turned to Zia, "Are you ok?"  
  
Lark shook his head, "Boy, are you gonna get it."  
  
"Yeah," Spleen said, "That's what you get for trying to help people."  
  
"Especially when it's Zim," Tenn said.  
  
"Why'd you do it?" Scooge asked, "He didn't even stick up for you when Rul came in."  
  
Spleen gave Zim a disgusted glare, "You got anything to say for yourself there, Zim?"  
  
The kids all turned to look where Zim was seated on the floor, facing away from them, much too embarrassed to say anything.  
  
While the other kids all rolled their eyes at him, Zia walked over to Zim. She paused half way over to pick the toy up off the floor. "Um…are you ok?" she asked gently.  
  
"I'm fine," Zim said, not making eye contact with her.  
  
"Listen," she said, kneeling down next to him, "Don't listen to those guys. They're jerks."  
  
"No, they're right," Zim said, "I'm too small to even stick up for myself." He made a disgusted face and threw one of his toys across the room. "I hate being small! I'd rather be dead."  
  
Just then, they heard voices out side the playroom door. It was Rul talking with one of the security guards.  
  
"Did you hear?" The guard was saying, "The Tallest's Grace was destroyed in the last air battle with the Planet Jackers!"  
  
"No!" Rul gasped, "But that was one of the Armada's biggest ships! There's no way!"  
  
"It's true. I just heard it over the radio signal," the guard said, "All the troops that weren't killed are in intensive care."  
  
"That's horrible!" Rul said, "If things keep going on like this, Tallest Blu may have to start drafting soldiers!"  
  
"Yeah. Could you imagine if he had to ask the Universal Congress for help?"  
  
"Well, at least we know they'd give it to him. I mean, everyone their fancies him."  
  
Zia turned to Zim. "You wanna be dead like those soldiers?" she asked him.  
  
Zim shook his head. "No, I changed my mind," he said, "I wanna get big so I can join the army and kick the Planet Jacker's butts!" He stood up and threw a couple of punches in the air. One punch was thrown too hard and he spun around and landed on the floor on his back. He shook off his dizziness and looked up at her, "What're you gonna be?"  
  
"Um…a Diplomat, I think," Zia said.  
  
"Oh," Zim said, sitting back up, "I know! Once I'm done kicking their butts, you can force them to sign a treaty that will completely benefit Irk and leave them with nothing!" He grinned evilly.  
  
Zia raised a would-be eyebrow. "Um…I don't think that's exactly who it works, but sure, ok." She grinned at him. Their eyes met again as Rul entered the room to get them all ready for the evening meal.  
  
* * *  
  
More years had passed and Zim's generation had reached the end of the final level of the Nursery. The war with the Planet Jackers had just ended and Tallest Blu (after a week of successful negotiations) had been hospitalized.  
  
And on his request, the children in the Level 10 were to visit him that evening, before they were sent off to their predestined assignments. The group of them was standing outside Blu's room in the Medical Ward, each waiting their turn to see their Leader. They went in pairs, with Zim and Zia last (you all know why – think 'alphabetical order'). They went in cautiously, and approached Blu's bed.  
  
He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw them. "Well, nice to see you two again. How're you holding up?"  
  
"Fine, sir," Zia said.  
  
"A lot better than you, it looks like," Zim said, then clamped a hand over his mouth, realizing he was being disrespectful, "I'm sorry, sir, that came out wrong."  
  
Blu laughed slightly, then coughed. "It's all right, Zim." He coughed again. "Now…I'm not going to be around for much longer, kids…"  
  
"But…you can't mean that!" Zia said.  
  
Blu put a hand up. "Oh I do. I think that war just about drained all the life out of me…" he sighed, and continued, "I want you two…to look out for each other…ok?"  
  
They both nodded respectfully. "Yes, My Tallest."  
  
"Good," Blu said, and shut his eyes. Then one of the doctors ushered them out of the room. When they stepped outside, they were instantly separated by a pair of Soldiers and a pair of Scholars. The Soldiers dragged Zim in one direction down the hallway while the Scholars dragged Zia down the opposite way.  
  
"Wait!" Zim cried, "What are you doing!"  
  
"You're going to the Academy, just like any trainee," one of the Soldiers said gruffly.  
  
"But…but…" Zim said, but there was nothing he could do, except watch Zia disappear farther and farther down the corridor away from him.  
  
And so Fate tore them apart…but would it ever bring them back together again?? 


	2. Chapter 1 - The Crash Landing

Chapter 1 – The Crash Landing  
  
"So you see, my Tallest, these test clearly prove that the Cafeteria beasts are trying to kill off all of the planet's young ones with their horrible meats!" Zim was saying. The time was present day. The place was planet Earth. Zim was down in his labs, speaking to Tallests Red and Purple over the video phone on his wall-sized computer screen. On a screen behind him, the tests he'd performed on the Skool's cafeteria food were displayed.  
  
The Tallest blinked. Red looked like he was thinking, 'And I care because???' and Purple's eyes were kind of glazed over, as he'd stopped paying attention the moment Zim had contacted them.  
  
Zim beamed at his results, misunderstanding their reactions completely. He started to continue his report, but his computer interrupted him. "Irken Vessel has entered Earth's Solar System!!" it said loudly.  
  
Zim's antennae perked up. "Eh?" He turned back to his leaders quickly, "Um…I'll call you back!" He quickly pushed a button on the console and the transmission ended. Zim pressed another button and held it down. "GIR!" he yelled, "Get down here!"  
  
Up in the living room, GIR was seated on the couch, watching the Scary Monkey Show and slurping on a chocolate-bubblegum slurpie when his master's message echoed through the house. He stood up, eyes glowing red and blasted off, still holding his slurpie.  
  
He appeared in the lab only moments later. Zim looked up as he came in. "It's about time, GIR," he said, "The satellite's detected an Irken Vessel in our area."  
  
"Ooooooooooohh," GIR said.  
  
Zim turned back to the computer screen, where the satellite's radar was humming away. The bar that spun around the circle was blipping softly as a small red dot approached the asteroid belt.  
  
* * *  
  
Out in space, a Voot Crusier flew silently through the inky blackness. In the cockpit, an Irken female with deep green eyes and curled antennae sat at the controls. She had no SIR of her own, as a Diplomat has no need of an Information Retrieval Unit. Instead, she had an APU (All Purpose Protection Unit). Unlike a SIR, the APU was built of a sturdier material, and was armed with heavier artillery. The APUs were standard Diplomat issue, as negotiators are often in danger of assassination. This APU, like all others, was shiny silver, and had dark blue colored eyes and chest plate.  
  
She leaned back against the seat and sighed. It would be good to return home after such a long journey. She'd been on a diplomatic mission to planet Democracia, delivering important documents to the Irken Representatives. Normally, they could have just been mailed out, but the Tallest had feared they might be intercepted by the enemy…whoever that was…so she had flown all the way there herself.  
  
She had just started to relax, when her computer's voice broke the silence, "Warning! Unknown asteroid belt ahead."  
  
Zia sat up straight, eyes staring out the cockpit window, trying to see what her sensors could already detect. She pressed a button and a small star map appeared on the dash board. "There's no asteroid belt on the route back to Irk," she said to herself.  
  
"Hence the word 'unknown'," the computer said.  
  
She ignored it, watching the radar show more and more signs of approaching danger. Beginning to panic, she grabbed the joy stick and yanked at it hard towards the right. She watched the space in front of her and saw the asteroid belt looming closer. Her eyes narrowed as she checked their coordinates. "We're way off course!" she realized, "Computer, what have you gotten us into!?"  
  
Before the AI chip had a chance to respond, the Cruiser made first contact with the asteroids. The ship was jolted violently and Zia fought for control. Before long, she found herself in the center of the belt, being bombarded on all sides. Her piloting skills were good, but she had been caught off guard – big time. As she finally broke free of the belt, and breathed a sigh of relief, her APU's voice rang out. "Rouge asteroid approaching-"  
  
"What?" Zia cut him off, casting a quick glance around her.  
  
It wasn't fast enough, however, as the 'rouge asteroid' hit the Cruiser at full force from one side!! Nearly the entire top of the Crusier was ripped off in an instant! APU stood in front of her, but was crushed under the force of the meteor. Zia didn't even have time for the situation to register before something struck her forehead and she blacked out.  
  
* * *  
  
Back on Earth, Zim's satellite had lost the signal from the unknown vessel, so he had given up trying to identify it. He was seated in the living room with GIR and they were fighting over the TV remote.  
  
"GIR, I've had it with that monkey!" Zim said as he tugged on the controller, "If you're going to rot what little brain you have with TV, at least watch something worth while!"  
  
"NOOOO!" GIR sobbed, pulling on the other side, "I need to see what happens!!"  
  
Their argument was cut short when what felt like an earthquake shook the whole house! Zim and GIR were both flung off the couch and onto the floor. As the remote hit the ground, it shut the TV off.  
  
Zim picked himself up. "What was that?" he demanded, and then hurried outside to investigate. GIR followed after him, having completely forgotten their fight.  
  
Out in the front yard, everything looked normal. But the neighbors' lights were on, so Zim new he hadn't been the only one to feel the earthquake. He glanced around, puzzled.  
  
"Master! Look!" GIR said, pointing towards the back of their house. Zim looked and saw flames shooting up from his backyard!  
  
"AHH!" he screamed and dashed back through the house and out into the backyard.  
  
What he found was a shock. The remains of an older model Voot Crusier was burning in the center of the yard, buried a few feet into the dirt. Scattered around the flaming ruins were pieces of the ship, shards of broken glass, what looked like a dismantled, heavy-duty SIR unit, and an unconscious Irken female.  
  
Zim stared in disbelief at the scene before him. GIR tugged on his sleeve. "Master?" he said, "Master?"  
  
"What?" Zim said, snapping out of his wide-eyed state.  
  
"She's got an owie…" GIR said, pointing at the female.  
  
Zim stepped closer to her and grimaced. A fair-sized shard of glass was stuck in her forehead and blood was trickling down her face and over her right eye. Her uniform was torn and she was bleeding from small cuts on her arms and legs as well. Her antennae hung limp in the grass.  
  
"She certainly does, GIR," Zim said, kneeling beside her. He put a hand on her stomach, "Her Squeegily Spooch is still working though. We'd better get her inside." He picked her up gently and carried her back into the house.  
  
GIR followed, carrying the mangled APU and its unattached pieces.  
  
* * *  
  
Down in the lab, Zim placed the girl on a table in the center of the room. "Computer," he said, "Do what you can to heal her."  
  
A group of metallic arms came down from the ceiling. One arm stuck the girl with a needle, to guarantee that she stayed unconscious, then the other began carefully removing the glass shard fro her forehead.  
  
Zim turned away, not really wanting to watch and preoccupied with his own thoughts anyway. "I need to find out who she is and why she's here…that piece of trash we put in the hanger could be the UFO we picked up earlier…GIR!" he called out.  
  
"Yes?" came GIR's reply from across the room. Zim came up beside him, eye-brow raised. GIR had the broken robot on a table of its own and was attempting to put it back together.  
  
"What is that thing?" Zim asked.  
  
GIR read the underside of the robot's opened chest plate. "An 'A…P…U…'"  
  
"A what?" Zim said, "Computer, what is this?"  
  
"An All Purpose Protection Unit," computer said, "Standard Irken Diplomat issue."  
  
"She's a diplomat?" Zim said, "Oh good grief…Well, have you finished the damage report on her…Voot Crusier…I'm thinking it is…?"  
  
"Damage to Crusier is past the critical point," computer said, "Repairs being attempted. Chance of success – minimal."  
  
Zim groaned, "Will it be able to fly again?"  
  
"Not likely. Atmospheric use only, if at all," was computer's reply.  
  
"Hmmm…" Zim said, putting a finger to his chin, "Still…even a damaged vehicle would be useful to my collection of…stuff." Then a thought struck him. "Computer – quickly, download the memory chip of that APU thing. I want to see who it is that's crashed here."  
  
There was a humming sound and a long string of data appeared on the screen. As Zim scanned the information, his gaze stopped on the name of the APU's owner…and he fainted.  
  
* * *  
  
"Master?" came GIR's voice out of a blurry darkness, "Master, wake up!"  
  
"Wha…?" Zim said groggily, sitting up, "What happened?" he asked, putting a hand on his head, trying to clear it.  
  
"You fell down," GIR said, "Why?"  
  
"I don't…wait…yes…I know why…" Zim said, standing up and looking at the computer screen. The name was still the same. "Zia…" he read it aloud to himself, "I don't believe it…"  
  
"What?" GIR said, "What? What? What?"  
  
Zim walked over to the table where the girl was still lying. One metal arm was placing a large band-aid over her newly sewn-up cut, while the others cleaned the minor injuries. "This…girl was…a friend of mine…back at the Nest," Zim said, more to himself than to GIR, "I never thought I'd see her again."  
  
"Oooooh," GIR said, then he grinned and said in a sing-song voice, "Master has a girlfriend!! Hehehehehehehe!"  
  
Zim found himself blushing and snapped, "Don't be absurd, GIR! I'm sure she doesn't even remember me – that was a long time ago." But as he said it, the anesthetic began to wear off and she stirred. Zim looked at her, suddenly nervous, "Quiet, GIR. She's waking up."  
  
Zia's eyes fluttered open and she looked around, trying to get a grip on where she was. She found no answers in the room that was slowly coming into focus before her. "Huh…? Where…?"  
  
"Shh," Zim said, "You've had a bad night. Just relax."  
  
She turned towards his voice. "Who…?" she began, and then his face became clear and she gave a confused smile, "…Zim…? Is that you?" She tried to sit up, but a sharp pain ran through her forehead and she lay still again.  
  
"Um…yes, it's me," Zim said, "But you shouldn't strain yourself just yet. Your injuries-"  
  
"You haven't grown at all, have you?" she cut him off.  
  
Zim found himself blushing again. "No, not much," he muttered.  
  
"I'm sorry," she said, "That didn't come out the way I wanted it to." Then she glanced around and changed the subject, "Where am I?"  
  
"A planet called Earth," Zim said, "The Almighty Tallest have put me in charge of this planet's doom!"  
  
"I've never heard of it," she said.  
  
"I know," Zim said dejectedly, "No one has. But it doesn't matter anyway. What are you doing here?"  
  
Zia wracked her brain. "I'm not sure. Something went wrong with the Navacomputer of my Crusier. We got knocked way off course and ran into the asteroid belt surrounding the inner rim of planets here. I don't remember much else."  
  
"Well, your ship is in pieces in my hanger," Zim said, "And GIR is repairing you APU. But you really should rest now. That cut on your head won't heal unless you let it."  
  
"Do you have someplace a little more comfortable I could sleep?" she asked, "An operating table doesn't make a very good bed."  
  
Zim nodded, "Computer – take Zia to the spare sleep chamber."  
  
"Um…we don't have one…" computer said.  
  
Zim growled. "Fine. Up to the living room, then. The couch should do for now."  
  
The metallic arms then lifted Zia up and through an opening in the ceiling. They brought her to the living room and carefully set her down on the couch. She was asleep by the time Zim got there.  
  
He stood by her side for a minute. "I guess I'll worry about what to do with her in the morning. Maybe I can find her a disguise…" He walked off, going to his own sleep chamber, still musing over how to handle this new predicament. 


	3. Chapter 2 - Too Tired to Sleep

Chapter 2 – Too Tired To Sleep  
  
When Zim finally did clear his thoughts enough to get to sleep, it didn't last long. After only an hour he had the odd sensation that someone was watching him and his eyes snapped open. Zia was standing over him.  
  
"Zia?" he said, "Why are you awake?"  
  
Zia shook her head, "I had to make sure I hadn't dreamed it all," she said, "It really is you…after all these years."  
  
Zim just stared at her, not quite knowing what to say. For the first time since she'd landed, he got to take a good look at her. She'd matured very nicely. "It's been so long," he said at last, "What happened to you after we left the Nursery."  
  
"You mean after we were separated?" Zia said, "Well, I started my training…there really isn't much to tell about that, besides, it's classified information anyway…I graduated with Honors…received my APU…and began my work." She sighed and sat down on the floor next to his sleep couch. "Where is my APU anyway?" she asked, "Was he damaged beyond repair?"  
  
"No," Zim said, waving his hand at her, "Your bodyguard should be fully functional by tomorrow evening."  
  
Zia nodded, "Well, that's good. And what about my Cruiser? How badly is it damaged?"  
  
Zim gulped, not sure how to relay the bad news. "Your Cruiser is…well…past all hope of space travel ever again," he said, "What, exactly, happened out there in the asteroid belt?"  
  
"I told you, I don't remember much," she said, "The most damage must have come from a single asteroid that hit us after I'd made the mistake of thinking we were safe. It must have just about ripped the ship in two."  
  
"Well, that would explain why we only have half of it here," Zim muttered, "Without a few very expensive replacement parts from Irk, I'd have to say your Cruiser is doomed to stay on this planet."  
  
Zia frowned. "It'd probably be cheaper to buy a new one, huh?"  
  
"Umm…" Zim thought for a moment, "Not cheaper per say…but about the same price. Now if only we knew if the other half had crashed somewhere else…"  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile, a few blocks over, an ecstatic Dib was dragging the pieces of the Cruiser's top half into his garage.  
  
* * *  
  
Zim stood up. "Well, we might as well contact the Tallest, to let them know that you haven't gone AWOL."  
  
Zia nodded, and followed him down to the central lab again. GIR was still at work repairing APU, so neither of them bothered him. To be honest, Zim was amazed that GIR was as dedicated to this task as he seemed to be. He was probably doing something wrong, but they didn't have time to worry about it now. He pressed a large button on the console and the computer screen flickered to life.  
  
The static ended a few seconds later, but there were no Tallests waiting at the end of the line. "Hey!!" Zim yelled, "Hey! Hey! Hey! Anyone there?? Hey! Hey! Hey! Hello?? My Tallest!! Where are you?? Hey! Hey!"  
  
Behind Zim, Zia sweat-dropped like an anime character.  
  
There was a moan and a muffled curse from off screen and Purple walked into view, rubbing his eyes, dressed in his pajamas. "What is it, Zim?" he asked, "And why couldn't it wait another six hours?"  
  
Zim looked at Purple for a moment before asking, "Where you asleep?"  
  
Purple gave him a funny look. "Yeah."  
  
"Most sincere apologies, my Tallest," Zim said, "but I have urgent news to report!"  
  
"Well, get on with it," Purple said.  
  
"Of course," Zim nodded, and then gestured behind him, "As you can see, Diplomat Zia is now present here on Earth." As he said it, Zia stepped into view of the camera.  
  
Purple looked at them both, blinked once or twice, and then walked off screen. His conversation off screen with Red could be heard through the phone.  
  
"Hey Red," Purple said sleepily, "Zim says he found a diplomat…or something…"  
  
"What the *f* is he babbling about now?" Red muttered, then called out, "Go to sleep, Purple."  
  
"No…Zim…he's here," Purple persisted.  
  
"What…? Why is Zim calling us at…ONE-THIRTY IN THE MORNING?!?!?!?"  
  
After a lot of shuffling and several rather loud curses, Red came stomping on screen, dressed only in a T-shirt and boxers, with Purple behind him. There was practically steam coming out of the sides of his head, he looked so ticked-off. "Zim…" he growled, "This had better be – Zia?" he said, noticing her, his anger being replaced with confusion.  
  
"See?" Purple said, "I told you. Weren't we looking for her?"  
  
"I think so…" Red said, "Lemme check." He reached off screen and grabbed a data pad. "Yeah…yeah, we were…" he said, "What are you doing on Earth?"  
  
"My ship crashed, sirs," Zia said, "If Zim hadn't found me…Well, I might not be here." She smiled at him, and Zim felt himself blush again.  
  
"Oh that's nice," Purple said, looking like he meant it, "I'm going back to bed. You can handle this right, Red?" Without waiting for an answer, Purple walked off screen.  
  
"Hey, no wait! Don't leave me here with this-" Red said, starting to follow after him. Frustrated, he stopped and turned to Zim, "Look Zim – call back at a less ungodly hour, ok? This is important, but not important enough to cut into my beauty sleep." With that, Red waked off screen. Seconds later he poked his head back on screen. "Just so you know, we sleep in different beds. I don't you getting any sick ideas." Then he ducked back off screen again and the transmission ended.  
  
Zim and Zia blinked at the screen, then at each other.  
  
"What sick ideas?" Zim asked.  
  
Zia rolled her eyes, "Maybe it's better if you didn't know," she said, "And why they think we would even THINK that amazes me. They must be really self-conscious."  
  
"Speaking of which," Zim said, "I think I just got the perfect form of blackmail – if I ever happen to need it." He smirked.  
  
"You mean you taped that?" Zia asked.  
  
"Every one of my transmissions is stored on the computers hard drive," he said, "I'll think I'll make a back-up copy of this one just in case." He pressed a small button on the console and it blinked.  
  
Zia grinned, "You're evil, you know that?"  
  
"Evil in the best possible sense of the word," Zim said, "Now come on. Let's get something to eat." The floor under them lifted them up through the ceiling and they emerged in the kitchen.  
  
Zia glanced around. "Ugly, isn't it?" she said.  
  
"Yes, well…you'll find most things on this planet are filthy that way," Zim said. He strode over to the refrigerator, and swung the door open, revealing a huge walk-in icebox. He stepped inside, and Zia followed quickly after. "This holds some of the most wonderful delicacies of the universe," Zim said, spreading his arms wide, gesturing to all the food, "You have whatever you like."  
  
Zia walked up and down a few aisles of food and stopped in front of a tiny section with a flickering neon sign that read "Earth" over it. She chose a pint of cookie-dough ice cream and declared, "All right, I've picked." Then she left the ice box.  
  
"What?" Zim exclaimed, hurrying after her, "Why would you choose that? Out of all the things you could have – you pick the Earth filth! Why??"  
  
Zia seated herself at the kitchen table, a large spoon in hand and began eating the ice cream. "Mmm…this junk is delicious!" she said between bites, "It's gotta be what, 99% sugar!"  
  
"Yes," Zim said, sitting down across the table, "The Earth monsters' junk food is probably the most worthwhile thing on the whole planet. I suppose the amount of sucrose they consume is the reason they're all so excitable."  
  
"The Earthlings sure sound strange," Zia noted, "I'd like to see some of them."  
  
"The time will come for that," Zim said, "I suppose I could take you to school with me tomorrow…that is, if you're feeling up to it." He cocked his head, concerned.  
  
"Well, my head still hurts, but I think that's a good idea," Zia said, finishing her ice-cream and licking the bottom of the pint. She stopped and looked up, "Did you school? Isn't that for children?"  
  
Zim put his chin in his hands. "Unfortunately, our height is equal to that of an Earthling child," he said, "We have no choice but to blend in with the filthy worm babies."  
  
"Well that sucks," Zia said, setting the ice cream container down on the table.  
  
"Don't I know it," Zim said, "But you really should be getting some more sleep. Your injuries will never heal if you keep up all this activity."  
  
"Oh Zim," Zia smiled, "I couldn't possibly go to sleep now." And in seconds, she was sound asleep, resting her head in her arms.  
  
Zim shook his head. "I knew that ice cream was trouble." Then seconds later, he was also asleep, leaning back on his chair and drooling slightly. 


	4. Chapter 3 - Zia's First Day at Skool

Chapter 3 – Zia's First Day at Skool  
  
"Class," Ms. Bitters said, "I want you all to sit down, shut up, and pay very close attention." The class sat, quieted, and glued their eyes to their teacher (no not literally – though someone tried). "Now then. In yet another attempt to crowd the Skool as they cut our funding, we have a new student joining us. Zim will be bringing her in any second now. So you can all assume she's doomed."  
  
As she said this, the door to the classroom burst open and in stepped Zim (in his disguise) followed by a green-skinned girl a bit taller than he was, with pretty green eyes and blonde hair pulled back in a 50s-ish ponytail. The pair walked to the front of the room and Zim announced, "Horrible, stinking classmates – I would like to introduce Zia. She is a friend of my family's from…the…uh…old country! Yes! And I want you all to obey her fist, just as you do mine!"  
  
"That's enough, Zim," Ms. Bitters hissed, "Take your seat." Zim took his seat. Ms. Bitters turned to Zia, "You – do you have something to say?"  
  
"Um…no," Zia said.  
  
"Good. Now take the seat next to Dib," Ms. Bitters said, pointing to the desk, where Aki had just been plunged to the "Underground Classroom".  
  
Zia walked over to the desk and sat down. She turned and smiled at Dib, who was leaning as far away from her as possible, gripping his chair and looking petrified. "I don't believe it!! There's TWO of them now!!!" he cried.  
  
"Oh brother," Zita said, "Not this again. Is every new kid an alien now, Dib?"  
  
Zia shot a panicked look at Zim, but he put a hand up to calm her.  
  
She got the hint and turned back to Dib. "I'm sorry if I make you uncomfortable, Dib," she said, "Are all boys in this country this girl- shy?"  
  
"Yeah, pretty much," Zita said, and the rest of the girls giggled.  
  
Dib sulked in his seat, unprepared for this humiliation.  
  
Sara leaned over towards Zia. "Hey – you're pretty cool. But what are you doing hanging out with a freak like Zim?"  
  
Zia's expression turned annoyed and she started to reply, but their teacher interrupted them. "Children! Enough of this! Open your horrible textbooks to the very center and begin reading."  
  
Dib's hand shot up. "Ms. Bitters, all of our text books have an even number of pages – there IS no center page!"  
  
"Silence!" Ms. Bitters yelled, "It doesn't matter anyway. All the pages are blank ever since the funding was cut."  
  
"Then…what's the point?" Dib asked.  
  
"There is no point! You're all just doomed…doomed…doomed…doomed…"  
  
* * *  
  
Back at Zim's house, GIR was just completing the repairs on APU. He'd done everything correctly, and then taken a few extra steps of his own at the end. So now, APU had bubblegum and paper clips in his head, along with all of the proper circuitry.  
  
GIR flicked a button on APU's neck and its triangular eyes lit up. He sat up and looked at GIR. "Who are you?" he asked.  
  
"I'm GIR!"  
  
"You're what?"  
  
"GIR!"  
  
"What's a GIR?"  
  
"I don't know…"  
  
"Oh…me neither. Where's Mistress?"  
  
"At Skool with Master."  
  
APU's eyes narrowed and he did an infrared scan of the town from where he sat. It took him only a short moment to locate the Skool and Zia. Upon seeing it, he hopped off the table and marched out of the base. GIR watched him go and then went to see what was on TV.  
  
* * *  
  
At Skool, the lunch bell had rung, and Zia and Zim were seated at Zim's usual table by themselves. Neither of them was touching the food, looking equally disgusted. Then the door to the cafeteria swung open and in walked APU. He marched right up to their lunch table and stood next to Zia, who hadn't noticed him.  
  
Since his presence was normal to her, it took her a few minutes to even realize he was there. She glanced over casually, nodded at him, and then turned back to her food. Then her eyes bugged out and she turned back to him. "What are you doing here?!?" she whispered frantically.  
  
"It is in my programming not to be more than 50 feet away from you, Mistress," APU replied.  
  
"Well, I know that," she said, "But you're going to have to ignore your program if you really want to keep me safe."  
  
While this conversation was going on, Zim was still making disgusted faces at his food. He poked it with his fork and the mashed potatoes reared up like Jabba the Hutt and ate the fork. Next he poked an odd gray substance with his spoon and the metal dissolved. Finally, he had to fend off the horrible weenie that had sprung to life and attacked him. When at last he had conquered the weenie, he stabbed it with his knife and it squirted meat juice into his eye and he screamed, flinging the speared weenie across the room and writing and smoking on the floor.  
  
And no one in the lunchroom had noticed anything unusual. So APU escorted Zia back to class when the bell rang again. Zim followed behind, still smoking a bit, with one eye swollen shut.  
  
Once in class, APU stationed himself next to Zia's desk, standing like a guard at Buckingham Palace. Ms. Bitters noticed him and yelled, "ZIA!!"  
  
Zia snapped to attention, "Yes, ma'am?"  
  
"No pets or servants allowed on Skool grounds," Ms. Bitters said.  
  
Zia turned to APU. "See? I told you. Now go on."  
  
APU looked at Zia, and then hopped out the window next to Dib, who was watching it, wide-eyed. APU stood outside the window and kept watch over Zia from there.  
  
Halfway through one of Ms. Bitter's lectures, Dib cried out, "I can't take it anymore! That thing is staring at me!!"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous, Dib," Zia said, "He doesn't have any reason to. He's watching me."  
  
The whole class "oooh"ed immaturely.  
  
"I don't mean like THAT!" Zia cried, flailing her arms in frustration.  
  
"I know someone who IS looking at you like that!" Zita said, pointing at Zim, who had been watching Zia the whole time. The class laughed and Zim stared down at his desk, blushing. Zia looked at Zim and her expression softened. Dib looked from one alien to the other suspiciously.  
  
Ms. Bitters had fallen asleep.  
  
* * *  
  
When the bell finally ended class, Zim and Zia started home, with APU following close behind. They walked in silence for the first few blocks, then Zia said, "Zim? Are you as concerned about me as APU is?"  
  
"Huh?" Zim said, "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, why else would you be watching me?"  
  
Zim blushed again, "Well…I…to be honest…I…still can't get over how…beautiful you've become."  
  
Zia found herself blushing as well. "Well, thank you, Zim," she said, putting a hand on his arm, "I think you've grown very handsome."  
  
Zim turned an even deeper shade of violet (Irken blood is purple, remember?).  
  
Behind them, Dib was watching them through binoculars, sitting up in a tree. He was certain that Zia was Irken too, but he wasn't sure why she was on Earth. But he would find out! Oh, how he would find out! As the two Irkens disappeared into Zim's house, Dib lost his balance and fell out of the tree and into a bush.  
  
* * *  
  
Once safely inside the base, Zim decided he would try contacting the Tallest again. The painting of the green monkey-thing on the living room wall lifted up to reveal another video phone screen. The static faded out and the Tallest appeared on screen.  
  
Zim bowed his head respectfully. "My Tallest, once again, I am contacting you with urgent news!"  
  
"Uh huh…" Red said, "Yeah…what was it you said last night…something about a Diplomat?"  
  
"Yes!" Zim nodded, "Diplomat Zia's Voot Cruiser crashed in my backyard last night. She is stranded here because…well…there's not much my base can do to repair it. It's suitable for only minimal atmospheric travel."  
  
"Right," Purple said, "So…um…yeah. We'll send someone by to pick her up as soon as possible."  
  
"Oh, there's no real hurry," Zim said, waving his hand in the air dismissively, "But she seems to have documents you needed."  
  
"Yeah," Red said, "Zia, do you think you could just maybe download the files to us right now?"  
  
"Of course," Zia said, stepping forward, "One moment." A long thin wire extended from her jet-pack-thing and connected to an outlet below the video phone screen. A small charge of blue energy ran down the wire and into the outlet. On screen, a fax machine behind the Tallest blinked and a large stack of papers popped out.  
  
Purple looked over the papers, then turned back towards the screen. "You didn't tell anyone about these, did you?" he asked nervously.  
  
"Certainly not," Zia said, "Even I haven't read them."  
  
"Oh, that's good," Purple said.  
  
"Well, thank you, Zia," Red said, "We'll call you back as soon as we can find a transport to pick you up."  
  
"There really isn't any hurry," Zia said, "I'm curious to see more of this planet." She smiled at Zim.  
  
"All right then," Red said, "We'll talk to you later." And the transmission ended. Red turned to Purple. "You know she was lying."  
  
"What?" Purple said.  
  
"How could she have made the negotiations if she hadn't read the documents?"  
  
"Oh yeah…"  
  
"You're such a nitwit sometimes."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
Back in Zim's living room, Zim turned to Zia. "What were those documents, anyway?"  
  
"A secret peace agreement with another warrior race," Zia said, "There's a big peace meeting coming up soon and the Tallest plan to choose their allies quickly and declare war on the weaker planets."  
  
"Why didn't you tell them you knew all that?" Zim asked.  
  
"I thought they'd be better off not worrying that it might get out."  
  
"Oh," Zim nodded, "Well…what do you want to do now?"  
  
"I'd love to see more of this world," Zia admitted.  
  
"Ok then. Come on," Zim started out the door again, "But be well warned – out in this world we are surrounded by MADNESS!"  
  
GIR and APU popped up behind them. "I like madness!" they both said.  
  
Zia gave APU a funny look. "Zim, are you sure GIR fixed him correctly?"  
  
"I'm never sure of anything with GIR," Zim says, "But I'm sure he didn't do too much harm. Now let's go."  
  
And the four of them left…out into the world of (well-liked) MADNESS!! 


	5. Chapter 4 - The World of Well-Liked Madn...

Chapter 4 – The World of Well-Liked Madness  
  
"It's so…primitive!" Zia said as she, Zim, GIR & APU wandered through the city, "I love it!"  
  
"I still don't understand what makes this ball of filth so appealing," Zim said, rolling his eyes as the Yelling-Ice-Cream-Man walked by.  
  
Zia laughed, "You were always such a pessimist, Zim. I just think this is quaint. Disgusting, but quaint."  
  
"The man with the cart seems very angry," APU said, pointing at the Ice Cream Man, "Why is he selling his food so violently?"  
  
"Who knows why the Earthlings do anything they do?" Zim said, "I've already given up trying to understand their logic." He glanced over at Zia, but she was gone! He looked around frantically, and spotted her – buying ice cream from the yelling man. He slapped himself in the forehead and hurried to her side. He threw a few dollars at the human and led Zia away. "What do you think you're doing?!"  
  
"Buying sugar stuff!" Zia said and licked her ice cream cone happily.  
  
"I think some of the dye from that wig has seeped into your brain," Zim said.  
  
"Huh?" Zia said, but before Zim could explain about 'blondeness', a familiar voice interrupted them.  
  
"Aw man!!" Dib cried, "What are you doing here?" Dib and Gaz had just turned the corner and come face to face with the pair of Irkens.  
  
"Buying ice cream, Dib-pig," Zim said, "Just like any other Earth- maggot. What are YOU doing here?"  
  
"A new game for the GS2 came out today," Dib said, "But it's not like you care."  
  
"Um…" Zim thought this over, "you're right. I don't care. Come on, Zia." And the pair walked right past Dib and Gaz, followed by APU and GIR.  
  
"What's she doing here, ZIM??" Dib called after them, and they stopped short, "Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Are you gonna mate and overrun the planet with aliens? Huh?"  
  
Zim kept his back turned to Dib for a moment, while he waited for the burning in his cheeks to lessen. Finally, he wheeled around and faced his nemesis, "Don't be vulgar!! Zia and I are simply friends – something you wouldn't know much about, eh, Dib?"  
  
While Dib fumbled for a good comeback, Zim quickly left the area, with the others hurrying after. They walked for a long while in silence, until they returned to the suburbs. When they reached the park, Zia stopped walking. The rest of the group kept going, and had gone another ten feet before noticing she wasn't with them.  
  
"What are you looking at?" Zim asked, coming up along side her.  
  
"I haven't seen this much…natural environment in ages," she said.  
  
"They're just trees," Zim said, "You seen one, you've seen 'em all."  
  
"I like trees!" GIR said, popping up in between them.  
  
Zim and Zia looked down at GIR then up at each other.  
  
* * *  
  
So they spent the afternoon in the park. As the sun was setting, GIR and APU were sitting up in a tree, GIR pretending to be a monkey, an APU scanning around for danger. Zim and Zia were seated at the base of the tree.  
  
"Wow…" Zia said, "Even with all the pollution, the Earth's sunset is still beautiful."  
  
"Eh…It won't last," Zim said, "I give their ozone layer another 10 thousand years – tops."  
  
"Well, with the way you'll run things, it won't last a hundred," Zia said.  
  
Zim grinned, "Ah yes, the day when I conquer Earth shall be a sad day of DOOM for all the sad little Earth monkeys!"  
  
Just then, GIR dropped down on Zim's lap from the tree. "Monkeys!!!" he said happily.  
  
"GIR!" Zim said, "Do you mind??"  
  
"Mind what?" GIR asked, cocking his head.  
  
"Rrrrrgh…never mind!" Zim growled, shoving GIR off of him, "Just go back to the tree."  
  
"Okie dokie!!" GIR said and climbed back up the tree.  
  
Zim sighed and rolled his eyes. Zia laughed. Zim cleared his throat nervously, "So…um…maybe we should head back. It'll get dark soon and then all the crazies come out…"  
  
Zim stood up and started walking off. Zia whistled for the robots, which fell out of the tree obediently and the three of them followed after him.  
  
* * *  
  
As they entered the front yard of Zim's house, the sun had set and the stars were showing through the clouds. The lights were on in the neighbors houses, casting a nice glow on the street below. The gnomes in the yard, turned their heads, identified the 'intruders' quickly and reverted back to normal. And no one really cared.  
  
GIR skipped up the front walk, pulling APU behind him. "Come on! Scary Monkey's gonna start soon!!"  
  
"I swear," Zim muttered as GIR and APU vanished into the house, "That robot will be the end of my sanity!"  
  
Zia laughed, "I think he's cute!" she said, sitting down on the front step.  
  
"That's 'cause you haven't lived with him long enough," Zim said, sitting down next to her, "Just wait. You'll start to crack after a week."  
  
"You mean you want me to stick around?" Zia asked.  
  
Zim gulped and nodded, "Of course I do…seeing you after all these years is kind of like a miracle…and believe me, I haven't had one of those in a long time."  
  
Zia smiled, "I've missed you too, Zim," she said, "I still remember the promise we made to Tallest Blu all those years ago. I think I actually promised it twice." To Zim's confused reaction, she explained about his being born too early and how Blu had told her to look after him.  
  
"I see…" he said when she had finished, "Well, I don't want you thinking you have to protect me – I can take care myself just fine." As she looked hurt, he added, "Not that I don't appreciate the concern…but…I want to be the one doing the protecting from now on…"  
  
"I'd like that," Zia said, putting her hand down over his.  
  
As the two aliens sat staring into each others' eyes, a small, black probe droid clicked softly, and then flew away as quickly as it had come.  
  
* * *  
  
The next few weeks went by quite uneventfully. (There was a lot of madness and evil schemes being thwarted, but basically the girl behind the keyboard wanted to move the main plot along – so here we go!) Then on Monday, Ms. Bitters made an announcement that would rock the whole class. "Children – despite my livid protests, the Skool is wasting what little funding it has left to sponsor a Spring Dance for you all to attend."  
  
The class went wild! There was much shouting for joy and a lot of paper airplanes soared through the air. When they finally settled down again, Ms. Bitters continued. "The Dance will be held on Friday evening and each of you is required to attend, along with the rest of the 5th and 6th grade. There you will be cramped into the gym for hours until you all go hopelessly insane." Most of the class was too excited to pay any attention to her commentary, but she continued anyway, "A partner is not required, but if you should show up alone, the rest of your life will consist of nothing but horrible ridicule from your peers."  
  
Dib gulped nervously, hoping she wasn't serious.  
  
Zim glanced at Zia from across the room, knowing that she was the only one he'd ever want to go with. But there was too much commotion going on for her to catch his gaze. Ms. Bitters had moved on to talking about doom again, but no one really noticed.  
  
Later that afternoon, out on the playground, Dib watched suspiciously as Zim and Zia sat together on a wall at the edge of the grounds. "What're they up to, Gaz? Huh? Huh?" he asked.  
  
"Why do you care?" Gaz replied, not looking up from her GS2, "Shouldn't you be worried about finding a date for that dance?"  
  
"What?" Dib said, turning to look at her, "How do you know about that?"  
  
Gaz shrugged, "Everybody knows. Can I come?  
  
"Huh?" Dib said.  
  
"To the dance," Gaz said.  
  
"Sorry Gaz," Dib said, "It's only for fifth and sixth graders."  
  
"Well, since you won't be able to find a date anyway, you can take me with you," Gaz said.  
  
"What makes you think I can't get a date?" Dib asked, looking indignant.  
  
"Please," Gaz said, finally looking up from her game, "Unless you want to go with her." She pointed across the yard at Gretchen.  
  
Dib followed her fingered, grimaced, then sighed. "Fine. You can come. But I could get a date if I wanted to," he said.  
  
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever," Gaz said, turning back to her game.  
  
Over with the Irkens, Zim was having a difficult time finding the right words to ask Zia out on their first official date. He cleared his throat and tugged on his collar. "Listen, Zia…um…I was thinking…" he started.  
  
"Yes?" Zia asked, already knowing what was coming, but wanting to hear it anyway.  
  
"Uh…this Dance thing…" he continued, "…well…as long as we're being forced to attend…would you…want to…I dunno…be my partner?"  
  
Zia nodded. "I'd love too," she said.  
  
"Whoo…that was easy!" Zim said, hopping off the wall as the bell rang, ending recess, "Now come! We have much to do before this filthy thing!" 


	6. Chapter 5 - Preparations for the Dance o...

Chapter 5 – Preparations for the Dance of Doom  
  
The bell rang – ending class on Friday afternoon. The children were released into their natural habitat and the chaos began. As she walked down the sidewalk with Zim, Zia had to jump out of the way as two kids ran by eagerly. "You were right about the humans being overly excitable," she said.  
  
"Didn't I tell you?" Zim said, "Disgusting things. I can only imagine what horrors await us tonight!" He cringed, "I don't even want to think about it."  
  
"Um…" Zia said, looking a bit embarrassed, "What is…a dance, anyway?"  
  
"Some sort of horrible humanoid gathering, meant for dancing violently and clumsily with others of the species until they let you out of the building," Zim said simply.  
  
"Um…ok…I think I'll ask Computer," Zia decided.  
  
* * *  
  
A half-hour later, Zia was seated in the living room in front of the TV with GIR. When Computer hadn't known any more than Zim, she had turned to GIR for help. He had put "Grease" on and had fast-forwarded to the Prom scene. Zia was watching with fascination, and unbeknownst to her, Zim was watching from the doorway of the kitchen.  
  
When the scene ended, GIR cheered and hopped up to watch it again. Zia stood up, convinced she had enough knowledge of dances. She hurried down to the quarters Zim had installed for her, to get ready.  
  
Once she was gone, Zim walked into the room to watch the scene more closely. He studied the moves carefully and shivered, revolted. "GIR – are there any better dance scenes in this thing?" he asked.  
  
"Sure!" GIR said and rewound to the "Greased Lightning" scene. Zim watched, intrigued. He couldn't help but notice that his disguise made him resemble the teenage boys in the film. "These…grotesque motions are actually considered a talent here?" he asked no one in particular, "If I can dance like this – no one will ever doubt my humanness ever again! I'm GENIUS!! HAHAHAHA!" He laughed insanely for a short moment, coughed and sputtered, then rushed off. GIR continued watching, and was soon joined by a curious APU.  
  
* * *  
  
At the Membrane household, Dib was pacing around his room, debating over which was more worth worrying about: (1) how to keep an eye on Zim that night, or (2) what he was going to wear.  
  
He solved the second problem quickly – he found his dress-trench coat in a box in his closet, and chose a white shirt, black pants and big, clunky Gothic boots (kind of like Nny wears) to go with it. And he solved the first dilemma by placing an alien-activity monitor on the inside of his trench coat. The monitor was programmed to vibrate if the target (Zim) did anything out of the ordinary. He packed a few extras, to place around the Gym when he got there.  
  
Dib admired his work in his mirror and noticed his sister standing in the doorway. He spun around. She was dressed a little different too, in an outfit a little like Tak's, only magenta and black instead of purple. "I still can't believe I'm taking you," Dib said, letting his arms fall to his sides.  
  
"Me neither," Gaz said, "I was just making sure you're not backing out."  
  
"I don't really have a choice," he said depressedly, "You won't embarrass me, will you?"  
  
"I was just gonna ask you the same question," she said, "But you don't have to worry about me. This should be fun." The she grinned, a bit evilly, and walked off, a cloud of ominous smoke rising up from where she had stood.  
  
Dib gulped nervously, and went to check in with the Swollen Eye- Balls, to ease his nerves.  
  
* * *  
  
GIR was still watching "Grease" as the sun set over Zim's base. APU had gotten bored after the first time and was practicing using his stealth mode. They both looked up from what they were doing when Zim reappeared from the lab. He was still dressed in his Irken uniform, but had donned a snazzy leather jacket over it. He grinned smugly at the two robots. "Well? What do you think?" he asked.  
  
"You look great," said a voice from behind him.  
  
Zim twisted around and saw Zia standing in the doorway of the kitchen, having risen from the floor only seconds ago. She was dressed in an Irken style mini-dress, with short gloves and boots. She smiled at him.  
  
Zim just stared at her for a minute, then realized what he was doing and snapped out of it, blushing. "You look…beautiful…" he managed.  
  
She grinned. "Well, I think I'm ready," she said, "How 'bout you?"  
  
"I've never been more prepared for anything in my life!!" Zim declared, "Or at least…the past week."  
  
Zia laughed and took his arm. "Shall we then?" she asked.  
  
"Let's shall," Zim said, putting a hand over hers, and as the two of them headed out the door, Zim called back, "You two behave yourselves until we get back!"  
  
APU saluted, and GIR waved after them, shouting good-byes until APU put a hand over his mouth to quiet him. And so…the magical night of MADNESS began! And what a night it would turn out to be! 


	7. Chapter 6 - Alcohol Substitute Makes Irk...

A/N: Ok, this is probably one of the weirdest things I've ever written. I think I was high on PEZ candy – so just bear with me. It'll get better, trust me. ^_^  
  
Chapter 6 – Alcohol Substitute Makes Irkens Do Funny Things  
  
At the Skool, search lights were panning the sky as the students flocked up the front steps. None of them were expecting anything great, so they were all surprised when the gym looked as nice as it did. Ms. Bitters had been right about using up the last of their funding. But none of the students really cared – they were all happy that it might not be a waste of their time after all.  
  
Dib and Gaz had arrived early, so Dib could attach his spy monitors all over the gym. And it turned out all the decorations proved as useful hiding places.  
  
While her brother had been busy, Gaz had watched the crew of oblivious adults set up the food. When they set down a large bowl of punch, she snickered evilly and pulled a small vile of green liquid out of her pocket. She poured a few drops into the bowl and when the substances met, they sizzled dangerously and melded together nicely. Gaz snickered again and walked off to play her GS2 until the real show started.  
  
Zim and Zia arrived with the rest of the students, though neither of them looked quite as excited. They entered the Gym and Zim immediately scanned the room for Dib. When he didn't find him right away, he told Zia, "I'll go get us some punch," and rushed off to look for him.  
  
Once Zim was gone, a group of girls from their class approached Zia, all looking happy to see her.  
  
Over at the buffet table, Zim found Dib hooking up his final monitor under the table. "Hello, DIB," he said.  
  
"ZIM," Dib replied, straightening up, "I'm surprised you even showed up at all," he said smugly, "You better not try anything funny tonight – I've got cameras hidden all over this place."  
  
"I assure you, stink-creature, I plan to enjoy this horrid get- together just like any other of the dirty-brain-children," Zim said, "I have to say, I'm surprised YOU'RE here. How did you ever find some one to come with? Or did you decide to go stag?"  
  
Before Dib could ask Zim where he'd heard that term, Gaz walked up. "Well aren't you two a cute couple," she said.  
  
"Gaz – don't be disgusting!" Dib cried, and then Zim laughed loudly.  
  
"BWAHAHAHA!!! You brought your little sister along, Dib?" he asked, between fits of laughter, "And just when I thought you couldn't get any more pathetic! HAHAHA!!"  
  
Dib clenched his fists and growled. Gaz took a glass of punch and splashed Zim in the face with it. He glowered at her, and then, by simple instinct, licked a bit of it off of his face. His expression changed. He dipped a finger in the punch bowl and licked it. "Mmm…not bad," he said, then grabbed two cups of it and walked off.  
  
Gaz snickered quietly and Dib gave her a funny look. "What did you put in the punch?" he asked.  
  
"An alcohol substitute from Dad's lab," she said, "This should be interesting."  
  
"Gaz," Dib said, "Did you know that Dad had declared that a failure before we left? It's three times as strong as alcohol – so he figured the public wouldn't like it."  
  
She shrugged, and then walked off, to resume her game.  
  
Dib glanced over at the punch bowl, where a few more kids were helping themselves to glasses. He shook his head and backed away quickly, not wanting to get blamed for anything that might happen.  
  
On the other side of the room, the crowd of girls around Zia looked up and dispersed as Zim emerged from the mass of students. Zia watched them go, disappointed, then brightened when she saw Zim. "Hi!" she said, "You know – the kids around here don't seem to like you at all."  
  
"I've gotten used to it," Zim said, "Besides – Zim needs no one!! Especially not the Earth-slime!!"  
  
"Oh, I dunno," Zia said, "I think everyone needs someone." She caught Zim's eye and he blushed again.  
  
Then, over the chatter of the kids, a microphone squeaked and the kids all turned to see where the sound was coming from. Ms. Bitters was standing on the stage at the end of the gym, looking just as ill-tempered as usual. "Children, I hope you appreciate all this – because you don't deserve it. So go ahead – enjoy yourselves. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wreak vengeance on the Skool Board." And the stage went dark. When the lights came up again, Ms. Bitters was gone, and a DJ stood in her place.  
  
"HEY, KIDS!!!" he yelled into the microphone (he didn't need to yell, but he did anyway), "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME MUSIC????"  
  
The kids all looked at each other. "Um…yeah…" they said together.  
  
"ALLLLLLRRIIIIGHHTTT!!!" the DJ yelled. He flicked a switch on his large and complex sound system and the music started.  
  
* * *  
  
The first hour went smoothly enough, and the teachers/chaperones remained oblivious to the fact that nearly all the kids in the gym were serving themselves punch spiked with a prototype alcohol substitute. But symptoms were starting to show.  
  
Zim downed his fifth glass and exhaled contently, "I have to say, I don't remember the punch tasting this could at Parent-Teacher Night."  
  
Zia took a sip of her third and grinned, "Whatever it is, it's delicious!"  
  
A few kids ran by, yelling happily, and the two aliens watched them, confused. "The humans are acting stranger than normal," Zim observed, "Even for them."  
  
Zia shrugged, "I wonder what's gotten into them." Then she hiccupped.  
  
As they pondered it, the DJ yelled out over the crowd, "OKAYYY!!! LET'S JET BACK IN TIME TO THE 50'S KIDS!!!" The kids all gave each other confused looks. "I CAN TELL YOU'RE ALL EXCITED – SO HERE WE GO!!" He pulled an old record out and placed it on a turn table that had been hidden from sight before. "Born To Hand Jive" started playing and the kids kind of stared at the DJ like he was an idiot.  
  
But something in Zia's brain clicked. This had been the song playing during that movie GIR had had on. The memory of the movie and the alcohol substitute combined in her head resulted in a reaction that was not just a little out of character. She grabbed Zim's hand and pulled him out into the center of the dance floor.  
  
"What're you doing??" Zim asked.  
  
"Dance with me," Zia said quietly, leaning in close to him, still grasping his hand.  
  
Zim looked into her eyes, and the decision was made almost instantly. "Sure," he said, grinning, "Why not?"  
  
So they did, and they rivaled the stars in the movie. The kids around them turned to watch, and soon a wide circle had formed around them. The kids were all impressed, and each was glancing around at the others to make sure they weren't alone.  
  
In the middle of the circle, Zim spun Zia across the floor, then dipped her backwards when they reached they edge of the crowd where Dib was standing, mouth hanging open. Zim grinned at Dib cockily over Zia, and Dib frowned.  
  
Then they spun back out into the center of the circle and here's the part where there should be a very cool, detailed explanation of their dance, but the girl behind the keyboard couldn't think of the right words to put it in, so she gave up and ended the song.  
  
As the final notes played, Zim tossed Zia in the air and caught her with one hand (and a little help from his spider-legs). The music stopped and the kids all cheered, each being a certain degree drunk themselves.  
  
Zim set Zia on the ground and she hugged him and he pumped a fist in the air. The kids cheered again, and through the crowd, Dib just scowled. Beside him, Gaz was laughing hysterically.  
  
Then the lights went up and Ms. Bitters was on stage again. The loud DJ had been banished to the "underground stage". "Children," she said, "We've just received word that someone has spiked the punch and that all of you are positively drunk. Despite how much this amuses me, the Principle has decided that you should all go home before you end up doing something stupid. Your parents have been contacted and are waiting outside to take you home – and they have all been instructed to punish you severely, even though it's not really your fault. And you're all doomed."  
  
The kids groaned and filed out of the building. A lot of angry parents were there, but even their scolding couldn't dampen the kids' high spirits. And some kids whose parents were either to busy or didn't care, got to walk home. Among them were Dib, Gaz, Zim & Zia.  
  
"I can't believe you, Gaz," Dib said as they walked home, "You ruined the whole dance!"  
  
"Are you kidding??" Gaz laughed, "That was priceless!!"  
  
"I'm never taking you anywhere ever again," Dib decided.  
  
"Oh well, it was worth it," Gaz said, "I can't wait 'till I'm in 5th grade."  
  
Dib just rolled his eyes as they turned down their block in the darkness. 


	8. Chapter 7 - After the Dance (a.k.a. The ...

Chapter 7 – After The Dance (a.k.a. The Sex Scene)  
  
GIR and APU were watching TV when the front door swung open. Zim walked in, carrying Zia in his arms in the style of the old-movie newly wed couples. They were both laughing.  
  
GIR jumped up. "Master! Zia-lady!" he cried, "You're so happy!"  
  
"Someone spiked the punch," Zim said, setting Zia on her feet, and they both laughed again.  
  
Computer's voice rang out, "Alcohol levels three times above normal. Removal process initiated." Two glass tubes dropped down from the ceiling over the Irkens, and a vacuum-like gust of wind surrounded them. Their disguises were removed, along with about half of the alcohol substitute they had consumed (no one's sure how). Then the tubes were lifted back into the ceiling.  
  
"Woo," Zim said, "That was weird."  
  
"I had fun," Zia said.  
  
"I didn't say it wasn't fun, it was just weird," Zim said.  
  
APU watched as Zia sat down on the couch and stated, "Mistress, you haven't been acting your usual responsible self lately."  
  
"Oh, APU, you worry too much," Zia said, "I'm fine. I just haven't had a lot of time to myself before…so this is a welcome change."  
  
"Mistress – your mission," APU persisted.  
  
But then GIR popped back up, carrying a tray with two mugs of coffee, "Coffee?" he said.  
  
Zim took a mug and looked at GIR suspiciously, "There's nothing in here, right?"  
  
"Yes!" said GIR, "Coffee!!"  
  
"It looks safe enough to me," Zia said, taking the second mug as Zim climbed up next to her. She took a long drink and sighed, "Wow…it actually feels good to drink this stuff…and usually I don't like coffee."  
  
"The caffeine must dull out the effects of the alcohol," Zim said, "But don't worry – the hangover tomorrow won't be gotten rid of so easily."  
  
"Well, I won't worry about tomorrow," Zia said, leaning her head on Zim's shoulder, "I've enjoyed today too much to think about much else."  
  
Zim glanced over at her, "I've enjoyed the past month too much, I think," he admitted.  
  
GIR began ushering APU out of the room, despite his protests. Soon they were gone, off to GIR's room.  
  
Zim and Zia sat together in silence for a long moment. Zia finally sighed again and said softly, "Zim…"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"…I think I'm falling in love with you…"  
  
Zim gulped, "…Really…?"  
  
"Yeah…"  
  
"Well…I think I've been falling in love with you ever since you crashed in my backyard," he said, not quite daring to look away from the floor.  
  
Zia sat up straight and took hold of Zim's hands, the coffee cups having been drained and discarded a short moment ago. "Zim…" she glanced away, and then turned back o him and said quickly, "Will you mate with me?"  
  
Zim nearly fainted from shock. "…Mate…you mean…now?"  
  
Zia nodded.  
  
"Of course," Zim said, "We'll file for the paperwork first thing in the morning and-,"  
  
"No," Zia shook her head, smiling, "I mean mate with me…tonight."  
  
This time, Zim really fainted. When he woke up a few seconds later, Zia was kneeling over him. "Are you ok?" she asked.  
  
Zim sat up, shaking his head. "Was I just dreaming…or did you ask me…"  
  
"To mate with me," Zia nodded.  
  
"Are…are you sure?" Zim asked nervously.  
  
"I've never been so sure of anything in my life, Zim," Zia assured him.  
  
Zim swallowed hard and nodded, "All right…"  
  
She smiled at him. He grinned back embarrassedly. She looked up at the ceiling. "Computer?" The floor opened up and they were lowered down into the base.  
  
* * *  
  
They emerged in a part of the base that Zim had never seen. It was a small room with a nest made of pillows and blankets in the center. It was lit with a few dimly glowing crystals on the walls. Zim turned to Zia for an explanation. She shrugged guiltily. "I had a feeling tonight would be the night," she said, "So I prepared a little."  
  
Zim grinned, "Like a true Irken."  
  
Zia smiled and kissed him on the lips, pushing him down into the nest. She pulled away quickly and grinned at his dazed expression. "I love you," she whispered.  
  
"And I, you," Zim said.  
  
Zia sat up and began pulling her gloves off. Zim hurried to do the same. The gloves were tossed aside and they pressed their palms together. Zim gulped. Contact of the skin was a rare occurrence, therefore, naturally reserved for the mating rituals. Zia leaned in and kissed him again, this time for a long moment, and he tried his best to kiss her back.  
  
When she pulled away this time, she reached back and unhooked her jetpack. Zim followed suit and the packs floated off to attach themselves to the wall. Not long after, the rest of their clothes were scattered across the floor and they were kissing passionately.  
  
* * *  
  
"I've been away from Mistress for too long already!" APU cried, "I have to find her!" The bodyguard robot was storming through the house, searching for Zia.  
  
"No! No! No! No!" GIR cried, holding onto APU's back plate, being dragged along behind, "Leave Master and Zia-lady alone!"  
  
But it was no use. APU was much stronger then GIR. After tearing the house level apart, he returned to the living room. He pressed a button on the wall and the videophone screen flickered to life. The Tallest appeared on screen as the static faded away.  
  
"What is it now, Zim – APU?" Red said, "What are you doing, calling us on your own?"  
  
"I have contacted you to report that my Mistress has gone missing," APU said.  
  
"What??" said Purple.  
  
"GIR's Master is gone as well," APU said.  
  
Behind him, GIR looked defeated.  
  
Red and Purple looked at each other. "Um…ok…" Red said, "I guess we could locate their jet packs…"  
  
"If it'll get them to leave us alone, do it," Purple muttered.  
  
"Right," Red nodded. He pressed a button off screen. From his view, the screen containing the robots was shrunk and a radar-view of Zim's house. The indicators showed both Zim and Zia's packs in the same area of the base.  
  
"What do you think they're doing?" Purple asked.  
  
"I'm not sure I wanna know," Red said, then turned to the robots, "Look – your master and mistress are still in the base – so there's no reason to worry. We'll…um…call back in the morning to make sure everything's still…in one piece."  
  
"Thank you, my Tallest," APU said, and shut off the transmission. Once the painting of the green monkey was back in place, he turned to face GIR, looking crazed.  
  
GIR cowered on the floor, watching helplessly as APU marched off to find them. Once APU had gone, he turned his eyes to the floor, switching them to x-ray vision. When he finally spotted his Master and Zia, his eyes widened, and he rushed off to stop APU before he ruined everything.  
  
"No! No! No! No! No!" GIR cried, now pushing against APU's chest plate, trying to hold him back. APU kept on searching, despite GIR's protests.  
  
* * *  
  
Down below, Zim and Zia broke their kiss and pressed their foreheads together gently, staring into each other's eyes. Zia ran her fingers down Zim's back until they found the metal rings where his jet pack would attach. She fingered then tenderly, and he found himself blushing all over again. He was feeling so vulnerable with her – it was a good feeling, but frightening at the same time.  
  
Zia smiled and kissed him softly. Then they intertwined their antennae together. As soon as they made contact, a blue glow started at the base of Zim's antennae and ran along them, fading out as it touched Zia's head. Then the glow started again on Zim and went across to Zia. This went on for a few intoxicating minutes, and when the glow faded away the last time, both Irkens fell asleep in each other's arms, wrapped up in the blankets in the nest. 


	9. Chapter 8 - The Morning After

Chapter 8 – The Morning After  
  
The sun came up the next morning, but the chamber where Zim and Zia were sleeping was far enough underground that the bright morning rays did not penetrate their solitude. The sun, however – would not stand for this – so one of its rays broke right through the ground and found their chamber. It couldn't break through the walls, but it gave a boost of energy to the crystals on he walls that had faded out a while ago.  
  
The crystals brightened, simulating sunlight, and Zim stirred. He woke up with a start and sat up. He glanced around, trying to remember what had happened the night before. Then he saw Zia, sleeping beside him, and he smiled to himself. He felt himself blush again – the events of last night becoming clear. He stood up, the blankets falling off of him. He looked down at himself and hurried to find a bathrobe. But before he could reach one, he heard a sigh behind him and turned around. Zia had woken up and was propping herself up on her elbows, smiling at him.  
  
Zim stood where he was awkwardly. "Um…good morning," he said, grinning embarrassedly.  
  
"Morning," Zia said, "Did you sleep well?"  
  
"Better than I've slept in months," Zim said, pulling the bathrobe on, "Thanks to you." He knelt down and kissed her, "Why don't you go back to sleep? I'm just gonna go upstairs and make sure GIR hasn't ruined anything while we've been…uh…busy."  
  
Zia grinned sleepily and pulled the blankets up closer around her. "All right then," she murmured, "Hurry back."  
  
"Oh, I will," Zim said, and left. As he rode the elevator up to the house level, his antennae sparked with blue electricity. He glanced up at them curiously, and realized it was one of the give-aways of what he and Zia had done last night.  
  
But he didn't have any more time to worry about it, because the elevator had brought him up to the living room. His jaw dropped when he surveyed the area – the place was an absolute wreck!! In the middle of the room, the floor opened up and APU and GIR emerged. APU looked furious, and GIR looked exhausted.  
  
GIR perked up when he saw Zim. "Master!!!" he cried, running to Zim and hugging him around the middle, "We missed you!"  
  
"GIR! What have you done to the base??" Zim demanded.  
  
"It wasn't me," GIR protested, "It was him." He pointed at APU.  
  
Before Zim could say any thing else, APU strode over to him. "Protocol requires that I know my Mistress's whereabouts at all times," he said, "This was not the case last night. Why was this?"  
  
"Um…er…" Zim stammered, not wanting to talk about it, especially not to a robot.  
  
GIR looked around, "Where's Zia-lady?? She's Mistress now, isn't she?"  
  
Zim felt his cheeks go violet again, and he nodded slightly.  
  
APU looked Zim up and down, noting the lack of uniform and the sparking antennae. He stuck his arm under Zim's chin, and four blasters popped out from his cuff. Zim gulped.  
  
APU poked Zim with the guns, "You should know that both Invaders and Diplomats are forbidden to have mates when on missions," he said, "It says so very clearly in your basic training manual. Why has this code been broken?? Do you wish my Mistress's mission jeopardized??" as APU ranted, he continued poking Zim with the guns, "You know someone's going to be blamed for this – and it won't be my Mistress!"  
  
Zim's eyes widened as APU forced him backwards while he spoke. He'd never considered any of these things last night, but you really couldn't blame him.  
  
As his Master stammered, trying to find the words that wouldn't come, GIR stepped between him and APU. "Stop! Leave Master alone! Zim's your Master, too now – so you gotta listen to 'im!"  
  
APU turned on GIR angrily, but before he could say anything, the videophone flickered to life, and Red and Purple appeared on screen.  
  
As soon as he saw the Tallest, Zim screamed and ran out of the room. There was no way they could find out about this – his mission would be revoked for sure!!  
  
Red and Purple watched him run off and glanced at each other in confusion. "What was that??" Purple asked.  
  
"That was Master!" GIR said, "We found him."  
  
"Oh, well…that's good…I guess," Red said.  
  
"Why'd he run off?" Purple asked, "I mean, we're awe-inspiring and all – but Zim's never been scared of us before."  
  
"Um…" GIR started, but APU cut him off.  
  
"My new Master is just realizing the consequences of his actions last night," APU said, "It seems his hormones were raging a bit too much for his own good."  
  
"Wait…" Purple said, "Why would Zim be APU's Master?"  
  
Red raised a finger, about to reply, then a thought struck him and his eyes bugged out. "You don't mean…?" he began, turning back to the screen.  
  
"Yes," APU said, while behind him, GIR flailed his arms frantically, "Zim and my Mistress mated last night."  
  
Red looked shocked beyond words, but was brought back to his senses when Purple fainted a few seconds later. "What the – now look what you've done!" Red cried, "Purple – get up! Um…hold on a second." The screen switched to a stagnant 'Please Hold' sign.  
  
GIR looked at APU angrily, and APU glared right back at him.  
  
Zim ducked his head in the doorway from the kitchen. "You squirmy little tattletale!!" he cried angrily.  
  
"You deserved it," APU retorted.  
  
GIR began pushing Zim out of the living room, "Hurry Master! Before they come back! Hide!"  
  
"Zim will never run!!" he declared, but just then, the Tallest came back on screen.  
  
"All right – where are you, Zim?" Red called.  
  
Zim screamed and took off again.  
  
Red turned to Purple. "Let's split up and search the place."  
  
"Right," Purple nodded. Then they both walked off screen in different directions. The big screen shut off, the walls on both sides opened up and two smaller screens floated out. One screen had Red on it and the other had Purple. These screens would allow them to travel all through the house – just like Professor Membrane did.  
  
Their search began immediately. Purple drifted into the kitchen, and Red headed down below to the lab. "Hello?" Purple called, glancing around at all the appliances. From the cupboard under the sink, Zim hugged his knees and held his breath.  
  
"Zim – if you come out now, this will end up a lot better for you," Red said.  
  
Purple tried to peak in the keyhole of the cupboard where Zim was hiding, "Anyone in there?"  
  
"Um…" Zim said, "There's no one here but us delicious human potatoes," he said lamely, wanting to kick himself afterwards.  
  
"WOW! Hey Red! Check out the talking potato!!" Purple yelled off screen.  
  
"What?!?!?!" Red said, his screen floated into the kitchen, "Are you crazy? Potatos don't talk."  
  
"This one does," Purple insisted, "Hey Potatos – say something!"  
  
Silence. Zim bit his bottom lip, trying not to breathe.  
  
Red looked at Purple as if he were a moron.  
  
"But…I heard him…" Purple said helplessly, "Watch, I'll show you he's here." He floated over to the door and a wire extended from his screen, attached itself to the handle. He pulled the door open, and Zim tumbled out onto the floor. "Hi Zim," Purple said, then floated into the cupboard, "Potatos?"  
  
Disgusted, Red shut the door, trapping Purple inside. Then he turned to face Zim…only to find that he was fleeing the area once again. "Damn it, Zim! Get back here!!" And he floated off again.  
  
A minute later, Purple's voice could be heard from inside the cupboard, "Hey…it's dark in here…Red, let me out! C'mon!"  
  
On Irk, Red walked over to where Purple was using his remote control to bang his screen against the door. "You're mean," Purple said.  
  
"Give it up. They're not fast enough anyway," Red said, "Let's check the stagnant screens." So the two of them headed over to the large screen in the center of the room. In the corner was a heat-seeking map of Zim's house.  
  
"Hey look," Purple said, pointing at the mini-map, "There's an Irken right there. It's probably Zim."  
  
"Only one way to find out," Red said, and pressed a button on the rim of the screen.  
  
In the chamber where Zia was still sleeping, a screen flashed to life. "Hello?" called Purple.  
  
Zia woke with a start, and seeing the Tallest in front of her, pulled the covers more tightly around her. "M-my Tallest!" she gasped.  
  
Red and Purple both stared at her in shock for a minute, then Purple said, "Um…are you naked?"  
  
Zia blushed profusely. "Um…yes…" she muttered.  
  
"Ok, Zia," Red said, "We're trying to sort this whole thing out – and Zim's being no help whatsoever. You're both in big trouble – you know that, right?"  
  
"You know…about last night…?" Zia said quietly, "But…how?"  
  
"Your APU told us," Purple said.  
  
"Oh, that squirmy little tattletale!!" Zia said.  
  
"Don't blame him," Red said, "We would've found out anyway."  
  
"How?" Purple asked quietly.  
  
Red elbowed him in the ribs and continued. "Anyway – this will go a lot smoother if you both would cooperate."  
  
"Yes, sir," Zia said, "If you could give me a minute to change, I'll meet you up in the living room."  
  
"Ok," Purple nodded and walked off screen. "Red!" he said, noticing Red's lack of movement, so he reached out and shut the screen off. The screen went black just as Red started to protest.  
  
* * *  
  
"Do you two realize the seriousness of this situation??" Red demanded. He and Purple were on the screen on the living room wall again. Zim and Zia were standing in front of the screen in their bathrobes, both looking a little ashamed. Zim's antennae sparked every few seconds and Zia squeezed his hand reassuringly.  
  
"Yes, my Tallest," they said together.  
  
Red looked surprised. "Oh…ok…then I guess I don't have to lecture you…damn…I really wanted to…"  
  
Purple looked down at the new couple. "What're we gonna do with them?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, I dunno," Red said, "According to Invader and Diplomat protocol, both their titles should be revoked."  
  
"Not really," Purple said, he held the Invader and Diplomat manuals in his hands and was scanning through them, "According to the mission manuals, they're only not allowed to mate with others in their field. It doesn't say anything about inter-class mating."  
  
"What?? Lemme see that!" Red leaned over Purple's shoulder, his ruby eyes scanning the pages Purple had them opened to. "Damn it…" he said, "You're right…"  
  
Zim and Zia both looked up, happily surprised. Behind them, GIR grinned at APU, who was tugging on his antenna and blowing steam in frustration.  
  
"So…we're not in trouble?" Zim asked hopefully.  
  
"Well…" Red said, "Not as much trouble. There's still the fact of the matter to deal with – that you mated without the proper paperwork."  
  
"But the system sucks!" Purple said, "The paperwork takes years to show up!"  
  
"Why are you on their side?" Red hissed, "It doesn't matter anyway. There's no way of changing the system, so you'll just have to wait for the paperwork to show up. In the meantime, just…stick to your mission…I guess…I need a drink…" With that, Red floated off screen.  
  
"Yeah, just stay there," Purple said, "And um…keep us updated on how things are going…or something…wait up, Red!" As Purple zipped off screen, the transmission ended.  
  
"Woo," Zim said, putting his hands behind his head, "That went a lot better than I thought it would."  
  
Zia just smiled and kissed him.  
  
Behind them, APU was chasing GIR around in circles angrily. 


	10. Chapter 9 - The Egg Grows...A Lot...

Chapter 9 – The Egg Grows…A Lot…  
  
The rest of the weekend went by peacefully, but on Monday morning, Zim was awakened suddenly by Zia screaming. He bolted upright in bed, and glanced around for her. They'd turned the nest chamber into a sleep chamber for the two of them. Zia was standing in front of a full length mirror on the wall, holding up her tunic above her stomach. It was already starting to grow.  
  
Zim's eyes widened as he walked over to her. Both of them had seemingly forgotten what the end result of mating was – an egg!  
  
"Look at this!" Zia cried, "Just look at it!"  
  
"It's not…that bad…" Zim said, trying to think of something nice to say, "I'm sure no one at Skool will notice."  
  
"You think?" Zia said, putting a hand on her stomach.  
  
As hi mate turned back to her reflection, Zim puzzled over what to do. 'We could always request a leave of absence for her…' he thought to himself.  
  
"I guess you're right," Zia said, smoothing out her tunic again, "It's not that noticeable yet."  
  
"Right," Zim nodded.  
  
Zia stared at her reflection for a moment longer before saying, "You know what would taste really good right now?"  
  
"What?" Zim asked.  
  
"Cucumbers," was Zia's reply.  
  
* * *  
  
GIR was watching TV as Zim and Zia came up from the floor. "Good Morning, Master! G'morning, Mistress!"  
  
"Yes, yes, whatever, GIR," Zim said.  
  
GIR eyed Zia curiously, "Mistress looks different…"  
  
"Is it that obvious?" Zia asked nervously.  
  
"Of course not," zim said quickly, "GIR, Zia has an egg growing inside of her now." GIR just stared blankly, not understanding. Zim sighed, "She's going to have a baby."  
  
"Oh…" GIR said, then hugged Zia around the middle, "I like babies!!"  
  
Zim rolled his eyes. Zia patted GIR on the head awkwardly.  
  
APU strode up and pried GIR off of his Mistress, scolding, "You'll damage the egg!"  
  
"Oh, it's all right," Zia said, "Come on, Zim. We've got to get to Skool."  
  
Zim headed for the door, but Zia ran back to the kitchen. She returned seconds later, munching on a cucumber that was dipped in what looked like chocolate syrup. Zim gave her a funny look, but said nothing and only followed her out the door. APU trailed after them at a distance, and GIR went back to his TV shows.  
  
* * *  
  
At Skool, the only one who noticed any change was Dib. He stared at Zia until she couldn't take it and turned to face him. "What??" she demanded.  
  
Dib's eyes narrowed. "There's something different about you, Zia," he said, "I can't put my finger on it, but something is definitely different."  
  
Zia's eyes grew wide with worry, but Sara came to her rescue. "Leave her alone, Dib," she said, "She's already got a boyfriend, right?"  
  
Zia nodded and winked at Zim, who was grinning triumphantly.  
  
"What?!" cried Dib, "You think that I – you're crazy!!"  
  
"No…you are," Zita said.  
  
"QUIET!!!" Ms. Bitters yelled, causing them all to snap to attention. "That's better. In light of the events of Friday night, the Skool Board has issued an educational video about all the horrible effects of alcohol to each class that attended the dance. So sit down and watch the horror."  
  
"But we're already sitting!" said the kid who had replaced Brian.  
  
"SILENCE!!!" Ms. Bitters growled. Then the room when dark and the film started.  
  
* * *  
  
As lunch time came around, more of the kids had started to notice Zia's…um…change… As she was eating the cafeteria food (no small feat for any normal person), Torque Smackey yelled from across the room, "Heh, Heh! Tubbo!!"  
  
Zia looked up, hurt. Zim spun around angrily, "Hey!" he yelled, but was then hit in the head with food, and flung backwards off of the table, "AUGH! GRRRR!"  
  
And no one seemed to notice the large and ominous CRASH in the background, but a few kids right near Torque began backing away from him as a dark shadow approached him (No, it's not Ms. Bitters – she's probably sleeping or something).  
  
Torque glanced behind him. There was APU, looking furious, "Heh, it's a little worm thing!" he said pointing at APU.  
  
APU raised his hands above his head, clasped them together and bashed Torque over the head. He flew backwards and was embedded into the wall at the opposite side of the room.  
  
As everyone in the cafeteria watched, shocked, APU marched back outside and stood by the hole he had blown in the wall, once again, out of the building – technically obeying Ms. Bitters.  
  
Zim climbed back up on his table. "Anyone else wanna say something?? Huh?? Huh??"  
  
No one did. And no one said anything for the rest of the day.  
  
* * *  
  
"Maybe it would be a good idea for me to stay home for a while," Zia said, as she and Zim walked down the sidewalk after Skool.  
  
"Exactly what I was thinking!" Zim said, relieved, "At least, until the egg is laid." He placed a hand on her growing belly affectionately, "How long will it be, anyway?"  
  
"About 15 days, I think," she answered.  
  
"15 days…" Zim echoed, "I think we can avoid suspicion for that long." He sighed, "And when the egg hatches, I will teach my son to join me in world conquest!! And together, we will rule this filthy planet!!"  
  
"What makes you think it'll be a boy?" Zia asked.  
  
"Zim could bear nothing but sons!!!" Zim proclaimed dramatically.  
  
Zia cocked a would-be eye-brow incredulously, "Well, you're not the one bearing anything, mister," she said.  
  
From his hiding place up in a tree, Dib had been listening in on their conversation. He looked revolted and shocked and triumphant all at the same time (try drawing that!!). 'I was right,' he thought to himself, 'Zim and Zia are gonna have a baby…oh God, that's gross… I think I'm gonna hurl…" With one hand over his mouth, he placed a hand on the tree trunk for support, but in seconds he was too woozy to support himself, and tumbled out of the tree again.  
  
Above the treetops, the probe droid (from chapter 4) beeped and clicked and began to slowly follow them home, remaining unnoticed by all.  
  
* * *  
  
"Master! Mistress! You're home!" GIR cried as Zim and Zia walked in the front door, "Wanna watch the Scary Monkey Show with me??"  
  
"No, GIR," Zim said, "We have more important things to do!!"  
  
"We do?" Zia asked.  
  
APU stepped up beside her, as he had been following them home, "Zim is right, Mistress. For example –"  
  
"Monkey!!!" GIR cut him off loudly.  
  
APU growled and began chasing GIR around the room again.  
  
Zim turned back to his mate, "I was going to say, maybe we should head down to the labs and check the stability of that egg of yours. It seems to be growing at an abnormal rate."  
  
As they sunk through the floor once again, Zia said, "Mine? It's not just mine, you know…"  
  
* * *  
  
Down in the labs, Zia was seated on the operating table, tunic lifted up again. Her stomach had grown a noticeable amount just during the short time they were at Skool. Zim was fiddling with the main console while APU and GIR watched.  
  
After a moment, Zim pounded his fists on the console, frustrated. "There's no ultrasound mechanism in the computers programming," he said, turning to face the others.  
  
APU snorted, "That's because an Invader isn't supposed to mate during a mission."  
  
Zia turned to her bodyguard, "APU, don't you have an ultrasound devise?"  
  
"Why…?" APU asked uneasily.  
  
"I know you do," Zia said, "So come on…let's get this over with."  
  
Reluctantly, APU pulled a large stethoscope-looking thing out on his right arm. He pressed it to Zia's belly. "Hmmm…um…ok…ok." He beeped softly and sucked the devise back into his arm. "Mistress," he said, "You have an egg –"  
  
"Well, I knew that," Zia said.  
  
"– With a double yolk," APU finished.  
  
Zim's jaw dropped to the floor. Zia just blinked disbelievingly.  
  
GIR clapped his hands and cheered, "YAY!!! More babies!!"  
  
After a moment, Zia found her voice again, "W-what…?" she asked, "Double yolk…? You mean…twice as big…?"  
  
APU nodded, "Double-yolked eggs are a rare occurrence in Irkens, and the hatchlings are usually much more intelligent and cunning than hatchlings born from a single-yolked egg." He rattled off the data as if he had textbooks in his head.  
  
Zim clenched his fists and grinned, crying out, "Intelligent… cunning… boys!!!"  
  
Zia just rolled her eyes, then put a hand on her stomach nervously.  
  
Zim put a hand over hers and she looked up. "There's nothing to worry about," he said, "You'll be fine. And I'll be right here with you."  
  
Zia smiled at him, eyes brimming with tears.  
  
Then APU announced, "This is your predicted size two hours before laying the egg." He held a hand up and out from it came a small hologram. And the Zia in the hologram was…well…to put it nicely…enormous.  
  
Zim gulped, and glanced over at Zia. She was biting her bottom lip, and looking like she might faint. 


	11. Chapter 10 - The Egg Grows...Some More.....

Chapter 10 – The Egg Grows…Some More…  
  
The next morning, when Zim left for Skool, Zia wasn't with him. He had left her seated comfortably in the living room watching TV and munching on a plate of waffles GIR had made, watching TV. GIR sat next to her, and APU practiced his stealth mode throughout the base.  
  
As Zim was approaching Skool, Dib fell into step beside him. "15 days, eh, Zim?" he said.  
  
Zim jumped, not realizing his nemesis had come up beside him. His eyes narrowed, "What're you talking about?"  
  
"I was right all along, wasn't I?" Dib answered with another question, "This was the reason she came here in the first place, wasn't it?"  
  
"Don't be ridiculous!" Zim cried, "Her landing here was a complete accident and recent events…have just…happened."  
  
Dib's smirk dissolved to a more puzzled surprise as he looked at Zim. Was he really blushing? It didn't seem possible, but it was right in front of his eyes. But he shook of his surprise and continued his taunting, "Well, leaving her home is a good idea. But it won't keep your secret safe, Zim. I'm gonna expose you both for the entire world to see!!"  
  
Dib started to laugh maniacally, but Zim tacked him to the ground. As he had the human pinned to the asphalt of the playground, he leaned in menacingly and said, "I don't care what you do to me, filth-beast, but heed my words: if you so much as go near my mate…you'll regret it."  
  
Then Zim stood up, dusted himself off, and continued up the steps of the Skool as if nothing had happened. Dib sat up and straightened his glasses, which had been knocked awry, staring after Zim in amazement. He didn't think he'd ever seen Zim sound so serious before. Then the bell rang and he dashed inside, knowing he'd be late if he didn't hurry.  
  
* * *  
  
Dib kept quiet for the rest of the day, so Zim was in a fairly good mood when he got home that afternoon. He was surprised, however, to find the living room littered with pizza boxes. On the couch, Zia was still watching TV and GIR was fast asleep on her stomach.  
  
She looked up as Zim came in, "Oh hi!"  
  
"Hello," Zim said, "Looks like you, uh, made out all right today."  
  
Zia nodded, "Yeah. I can't explain the mess. I just had the wild craving for pizza!"  
  
"I see," Zim said, "Well, I think these craving-things aren't going to go away. We'll have to have your APU get us some more Earth money, if we're going to last two weeks of them."  
  
Zia moaned, "Two weeks of this…I guess it only gets worse, huh?"  
  
Zim shrugged, "Probably."  
  
* * *  
  
The first week went by with everyday being just about the same (or sometimes worse). The egg was growing nicely, according to APU. Needless to say, this didn't thrill Zia, who was already getting tired of it. And her cravings were ranging from things like ice-cream to grape fruit. And GIR's new sleeping-place was getting bigger, to his delight.  
  
By the time the weekend rolled around, both the Irkens had had enough. But the robots were always willing to do work around the house. GIR helped with Zia's cravings just because he got to share all the food, and APU helped with just about anything because of his programming.  
  
By Sunday morning, it was time for another ultrasound check. Down in the lab, it took a bit of effort to get Zia up onto the operating table, but they managed it.  
  
APU stuck the stethoscope-thing to his Mistress's belly. "Hmm…well, the egg is progressing right on schedule. I expect growth should stop some time around Saturday morning," he told her.  
  
Zia sighed.  
  
Zim tried looking on the positive side, "Well…um…only one more week to go!"  
  
She nodded, and then slid off the table, wobbled a bit and grabbed Zim's arm for support. She smiled weakly, "I tell you, I'll be glad when this is over," she said.  
  
"Won't we all?" Zim said, "Well, come on, let's get you back upstairs."  
  
They had barely gone five feet when an alarm rang out and a red light began flashing. "WARNING!" Computer said, "UNKNOWN INTRUDER!!"  
  
In an instant, APU disappeared, rushing to find the threat.  
  
"It's probably Dib," Zim said, "I thought I told him to keep out of this!" He took a step towards the elevator, then turned back, "GIR, help Zia get back upstairs. I'll be right back."  
  
GIR nodded and Zim hurried to the house level. When he got out into the front yard, APU was standing on the grass, the guns in his right arm extended and smoking. "What was it?" Zim asked.  
  
"I don't know," APU said, eyes narrowed, "But I didn't like the look of it. The security cameras probably got a picture of it." And he turned and headed back inside, with Zim on his heels.  
  
When they got inside, GIR was helping Zia up onto the couch. "What was it?" she asked.  
  
"We'll know in a moment, Mistress," APU said.  
  
"Computer!" Zim said, "Bring up a display of the security camera photos from the last intruder-sighting."  
  
A few photos came up on the TV screen, there wasn't much on the first through, but as they scrolled through, APU pointed at the screen and yelled "Stop!!" The image froze and in the corner of the screen, a small black probe droid could be seen flying away. "That's our intruder," APU said with certainty.  
  
Zia gulped, "That's a probe droid, isn't it?"  
  
"Probe droid – Federation Class," APU said, "Model ZS-567. A few years outdated, but still functional."  
  
"But what would the Universal Federation want with us?" Zim asked.  
  
"It was probably stolen," APU said, "The Federation wouldn't use an old model if they had access to newer ones. The most likely source…" he turned to face the group, "…would be a bounty hunter."  
  
Zia and APU exchanged a knowing glance. Bounty hunters were an expected danger for Diplomats, and APU was well-equipped to deal with one, or so it said in his programming.  
  
Zim looked from Zia to APU, confused, "A bounty hunter?? But…why…?"  
  
APU turned to Zim, "I could be wrong, of course," he said, "Probe droids older than a few years have been known to malfunction and wander the galaxies, causing unnecessary worry."  
  
"Still," Zia said, noting Zim's distress, "We should tighten security and program the houses defenses to recognize the droid."  
  
"Right," Zim nodded, "You heard her, Computer?"  
  
"Programming in process," Computer said.  
  
"Good," he said, climbing up on the couch next to his mate and taking her hand.  
  
She smiled at him, "You know what I could use?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Something from MacMeaties."  
  
* * *  
  
Monday went by smoothly and Tuesday morning rolled in, and around ten o' clock, the alarm went off again. APU went to investigate, and came back looking grim.  
  
"The droid again?" Zia asked.  
  
"Yes," APU said, "But I managed to damage it this time. It shouldn't be bothering us for a while."  
  
"Well that's good," Zia said.  
  
Next to her, GIR held a big bowl of popcorn and a video disk. "Don't be sad, Mistress," he said, "I got movies!!"  
  
Zia clapped her hands in glee. APU sighed and started patrolling the house again.  
  
* * *  
  
That afternoon, Zim came home to the usual seen, Zia watching TV while GIR slept on her ever-growing stomach. He smiled, relieved that everything was looking normal – so to speak.  
  
She glanced up as he came in. "Hi," she said, "How was Skool?"  
  
"Horrible, as usual," Zim said, "Anything happen here?"  
  
Zia shrugged, "APU got a good shot at that probe droid."  
  
"It came back?!?!" Zim cried.  
  
"Relax," she said, "It won't be coming back as willingly anymore. Besides, we have some more important things to worry about." She pointed at her stomach.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
Zia laughed, "Oh, Zim, you're such a dumb-ass, but I love you anyway."  
  
Zim put a hand behind his head sheepishly, "How's it coming anyway?"  
  
"Just fine," Zia sighed, "But it's starting to rotate now…and that hurts."  
  
Zim hopped up beside her and kissed her gently, "If anyone can handle a little pain, you can."  
  
"Thanks," she said, "But I'm sure this is just the beginning."  
  
"And we'll get through it together," Zim assured her.  
  
She reached out and squeezed his hand. He leaned in to kiss her again…  
  
And then GIR woke up. "Master! You're home!!"  
  
"Yes, GIR," Zim said, annoyed, "How about you go get us something to eat?"  
  
"Okie-dokie!" GIR said, and ran off towards the kitchen.  
  
Zim watched him go, and then turned back to Zia, "Now…where were we?"  
  
"I think, we were right about here," Zia said, putting a hand on Zim's collar and pulling him in for a kiss.  
  
From the kitchen door, APU and GIR watched, unnoticed.  
  
GIR grinned.  
  
"I guess…they do…make a nice pair…" APU said reluctantly.  
  
Overcome with joy and hyperactivity, GIR hugged APU, who pushed him off with a quick, "Don't touch me." 


	12. Chapter 11 - The Egg Grows...Until The E...

Chapter 11 – The Egg Grows…Until It's Time  
  
Around noon on Tuesday, the Tallest actually called Zim's house, but it wasn't Zim they wanted to talk to. The screen on the living room wall flickered on and Red and Purple found Zia doing dance-aerobics with GIR, watching the instruction video-disk GIR had found.  
  
She glanced over at them when she heard the screen activate. "Oh, hi!" she said, slowing to a stop. GIR kept going, oblivious that they had visitors.  
  
"Um…hi…" Red said, "Well…I see you're um…coming along."  
  
"Oh yes," Zia said, sitting down on the floor.  
  
"Do you really think you should be…um…exercising in your condition?" Purple asked.  
  
Zia grinned, "It feels good, my Tallest. I've been sitting around for too long. I need to move sometimes."  
  
It was about this time that GIR turned around. "HI!!! Me and Mistress were dancin'!!" He hit stop on the remote and the TV screen turned black.  
  
"Um…we could see that," Red said.  
  
"Actually," Zia said, "I'm glad you called. We've had several probe droid sightings this week."  
  
"Yeah," said Purple, "About that…you still have the data from…?"  
  
"Yes," Zia said, "It's safely hidden in my jetpack."  
  
"At least we thought it was safe," Red said, "But…we think someone knows."  
  
"What???" Zia cried, "How???"  
  
"We don't know," Purple said, "But we don't think it's safe for you to be carrying the information anymore, so we're sending a team of SIR units to retrieve it."  
  
"Good idea," Zia said, "I've got enough on my mind without having my life put in danger." She put a hand on her stomach, to make sure her point got across.  
  
"Right," Red said, "By the way…you look a lot…bigger than most the pregnant Irkens I've ever seen…"  
  
"That's not surprising," Zia said, "After all, it's a double-yolked egg."  
  
Red and Purple's eyes widened. "Really?" Purple asked.  
  
"Yup," Zia said.  
  
GIR laughed and hugged her belly, "Babies!!"  
  
"Well…um…we'll get that team out to you as soon as we can," Red said, "Just hang in there until they arrive."  
  
"Don't worry," Zia said, "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Ok then," Purple said, "We'll check in soon."  
  
Then Red ended the transmission.  
  
Zia looked over at GIR and stood up. He hit 'PLAY' on the remote and they continued their aerobics.  
  
* * *  
  
At Skool, Zim had been having trouble staying awake during class. Zia's late night cravings were really starting to take their toll.  
  
As the bell rang and the class headed off to lunch, Ms. Bitters told Zim to stay behind. He stood in front of her desk as the classroom emptied. Once they were gone, Ms. Bitters turned to him. "Zim, this is the fifth time this week that you've fallen asleep in class, and according to the Skool board, I have to show concern. What's going on?"  
  
Zim yawned. "Nothing's going on," he said unconvincingly, "I've just…uh…been having nightmares about…um…horrible potatoes of doom!"  
  
"I used to have nightmares like that," Ms. Bitters said.  
  
And as she began her story, Zim hurried to the cafeteria. Once there, he sat in his usual spot, let his head hit the table, and fell asleep once again.  
  
From across the room, Dib watched him quietly.  
  
* * *  
  
When Zim got home that day, he found Zia talking with the Tallest, while GIR was still doing the dance-aerobics.  
  
"The SIR units are on their way," Red was saying.  
  
"Good," Zia said, "I'll be waiting for them."  
  
The Transmission ended as Zim walked in the door. "What was that?" he asked.  
  
"The Tallest are sending some SIR units to take some…information out of my hands," Zia said hesitantly.  
  
"What information?" Zim asked, coming up next to her.  
  
"Well…it's confidential…" Zia started.  
  
Zim reached out and took her hand, and their gazes locked. "You can tell me," he said, "I think I deserve to know why you're in danger."  
  
Zia sighed, "You're right. I'm sorry. I'm just not used to having people worry about me…" she took a deep breath, and then began, "The Tallest have made a few deals with some gangsters from the Hutt system, and they're not exactly legal…they didn't think anyone would find out, but apparently, the other planets in our solar system did…and they aren't too happy. They're the ones who've hired the bounty hunter. They want the files I have. If they don't make it too the Tallest, then the deals won't happen."  
  
"So that's what this is all about?" Zim said, "Illegal Hutt dealings?"  
  
"Yup," Zia said, "And the sooner I get rid of the data, the better it'll be for all of us." Instinctively, she put a hand on her stomach.  
  
Zim nodded, "So…who's up for take-out?"  
  
* * *  
  
On Wednesday, the probe droid showed up again, but this time it went unnoticed. Its programmer had gotten smart and told it to keep off the perimeter. So the Irkens slept peacefully that night…sort of.  
  
Around midnight, Zia's eyes snapped open. Her stomach growled and she nudged Zim. "Honey…wake up," she murmured.  
  
"Wha…?" Zim asked groggily, "What is it?"  
  
"Could you get me something to eat?"  
  
Zim groaned and pressed his face against his pillow for a few seconds before glancing up at the ceiling, "Computer…?"  
  
"Oh no," Computer said, "I'm not getting' involved in this."  
  
Zim clenched his teeth in frustration, and crawled out of bed. "Is there anything specific you'd like?" he asked Zia wearily.  
  
She was now sitting up in bed, tapping a finger to her chin thoughtfully. "Um…something simple…a watermelon, maybe," she said.  
  
"Coming right up," he said and disappeared through the ceiling. He returned a moment later with just what she'd asked for, and more. He set the pile of food in front of her and flopped down on the bed, falling sleep instantly.  
  
Zia looked at the food and then over at her mate and smiled. She put a hand on his head and fingered his antennae gently. "Thank you," she said, knowing he couldn't hear her. Then she turned back to her snack.  
  
* * *  
  
On the moon, the probe droid was returning to a small maroon spaceship which was parked on the rocky surface. It flew inside and hovered before a female figure sitting in the pilot's seat. She wore an outfit the same hue as her ship and her eyes were hidden by the dark blast shield of her helmet. Long, braided, black hair fell down her back.  
  
She smiled, "Back so soon, ZS-567? What have you brought me this time?"  
  
The probe droid hooked itself up to her dash board and a long string of data in an alien language scrolled across the windshield, which doubled as a computer screen. The female's face lit up as she read the words. "Perfect," she said, "Yes…things are going perfectly. The time to strike is almost here."  
  
The probe droid just hovered there, making a few random beeps and clicks.  
  
"I'm glad you asked," she said, understanding it completely, "If you watch the progress of our target, you can see she's nearly due to lay her egg. If my calculations are correct, she will be nearly immobile by the week's end. This will be the most opportune moment to strike."  
  
The droid clicked in agreement. Then it whirred and a map of the houses defenses appeared on the screen. The bounty huntress watched as the screen flashed images and statistics of the gnomes. "Irken technology," she said, "never ceases to amuse me."  
  
APU appeared on the screen next. The probe droid made a few angry sounding beeps.  
  
The bounty huntress laughed. "Temper, temper, ZS-567," she said, "We will destroy the pest in due time…don't get your circuits in a knot."  
  
The next image on the screen was Zim. The probe droid whirred softly.  
  
"An exiled Invader, eh?" the bounty huntress asked, "He shouldn't give us too much trouble."  
  
GIR's image was the last to appear. She leaned in closer to the screen. "Hmm…looks like a SIR unit…sort of…but its markings are different. What do you make of it, ZS?"  
  
The droid blipped and whirred in an almost snide manner. She grinned, "A few screws loose, you say?" She sat back in her chair, "Then this should be one of the simplest missions I've ever taken on. I'll be glad once I've collected my reward."  
  
The droid attached itself to the wall of the cockpit, and shut down, beginning its recharging process. The bounty huntress drummed her fingers on her armrest. She was growing tired of waiting, but she knew impulsive action would be disastrous. So she would bide her time. And when she struck, the Irkens wouldn't know what had hit them. She chuckled softly to herself as she watched the blue-green orb that was the Earth, rotating slowly in front of her window.  
  
* * *  
  
As Thursday came and went, the egg was hurrying to get as much growing done as it could, much to Zia's dismay. "I'm going to pop, I swear!" she moaned to Zim that afternoon.  
  
"Don't be silly," he said, "Irken skin is extremely flexible – you know that."  
  
"I don't think it was meant to stretch this much," she said, and then winced.  
  
"What?" Zim asked worriedly. Surely she wasn't early!  
  
"It's rotating again," she said, "It had better be getting in the right position."  
  
"Maybe we should make sure," Zim said, and they headed down to the lab for another ultrasound.  
  
* * *  
  
"Mistress," APU said, as he pressed the stethoscope-thing to her stomach, "I don't know how else to put it, but the egg is rotating in the wrong direction."  
  
"What?!" Zia cried.  
  
"Please try to stay calm, Mistress," APU said, "We can change its direction with a sharp electrical current…"  
  
"Do it," she told him hurriedly.  
  
Zim spoke up, "Are you sure that's safe for the egg?"  
  
"Safer than having come out the wrong way," APU said simply, "If we let that happen, the egg could crack, and both babies would be killed."  
  
GIR sniffled, "Aw…poor babies…"  
  
Zia swallowed hard, "Come on APU, get it over with."  
  
"Right away," APU said, and the stethoscope-thing transformed into a mini- elecro-spear. He poked her in the stomach and she stifled a cry of pain as the egg's rotation changed direction with the shock.  
  
"I'll be so glad when this is over," she said, smoothing out her tunic and sliding off the table a little less than gracefully.  
  
GIR hugged her sympathetically. "I know what'll make you feel better – dinner!!"  
  
"You know what? It would," she nodded.  
  
"Then what are we waiting for?" Zim said, taking her arm, "GIR – head up to the kitchen and get started cooking."  
  
Zia grinned as GIR hurried off, "You boys sure spoil me."  
  
"You're worth it," Zim told her, and they headed back upstairs, with APU following after.  
  
* * *  
  
By Friday afternoon, Zia's hormones were acting up a bit, adding to her already low patience level. When Zim got home, she was shouting at her stomach, "Get out of me right now!!"  
  
She raised a hand to strike herself in irrational anger, but Zim rushed over and stopped her, "Zia! What are you doing?"  
  
She looked at him and her shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry," she said, "I'm just so sick of this! I want this egg out of me!"  
  
"I know you do," Zim said, patting her hand, "I know. But there's only one more day left…you can stick it out until then, right?"  
  
She nodded, "I think so." Then her hormone-level jumped up again and her eyes welled with tears, "Oh Zim, I don't think I would've made it this far without you here," she said.  
  
"Hey, I'm here for you," he said, sitting down beside her, "And I always will be. You know that, don't you?"  
  
"I do," she said.  
  
Just then, the screen on the wall behind them flashed to life. They both looked up. Red and Purple were on screen, looking very worried.  
  
"My Tallest!" Zim said, jumping to his feet and saluting, "What's wrong?" he asked, noting their expressions.  
  
"Zia," Red said, "We've got some bad news. The Cruiser the SIR units were in was shot down by the planet at the edge of our solar system."  
  
Zim and Zia exchanged nervous glances.  
  
"They've also started sending us death threats," Purple said.  
  
Red quickly elbowed him in the ribs. "Shh! Don't tell them that!" he hissed. Then he forced a smile and continued, "Anyway, we've decided…maybe it would be better if we came and got the data personally."  
  
"You mean, you're coming here??" Zim gasped.  
  
"Yup!" Purple said, "Red figures it's a good excuse to save our skins without looking like a couple of – ow!" Red had elbowed him again, and harder this time.  
  
"Yeah, so we'll be there soon," Red said, shoving Purple off screen before he let anything else slip, "Keep an eye out for us!"  
  
"Of course, my Tallest!" Zim said excitedly.  
  
"Ok, good," Red said, and shut off the transmission just as Purple was picking himself up off the floor.  
  
"Those must have been some death threats," Zia said, "To get the Tallest scared enough to leave Irk."  
  
"Nonsense!" Zim said, "They simply don't want to endanger us any longer!"  
  
"Right," Zia said, then winced and put a hand on her stomach as the egg shifted position again.  
  
"Are you ok?" Zim asked worriedly.  
  
"I'll live," she said, her hormone-level noticeably back to normal, "What's for dinner?"  
  
"It's only quarter of four," Zim said.  
  
Zia thought for a moment. "So?"  
  
Zim shrugged, "All right."  
  
* * *  
  
That night everyone slept soundly. Zia was much too exhausted to wake up hungry. She was sprawled across the bed, the blankets shoved aside unconsciously. Zim was enjoying his first full night of sleep, dreaming happily beside her. GIR was curled up in a fetal position at the foot of the bed, and APU was ever-vigilant, whooshing in and out of the room, patrolling the whole base. But even he grew weary after a while, and fell asleep leaning against the wall of the room at two in the morning. 


	13. Chapter 12 - A Hunter's Task

Chapter 12 – A Hunter's Task  
  
Saturday at last. Zia's mood was visibly better than it had been since the egg had been conceived. Also, a close-to-time energy boost had her up and about and making breakfast much to everyone's surprise.  
  
"What's all this about?" Zim asked as he came up to the kitchen through the toilet.  
  
"I don't know," Zia said, as she set the table, "I'm just really energized today!"  
  
APU watched her nervously, "Mistress, are you sure all this movement is good for the egg? I mean, too much strain might--"  
  
"Oh, I'm fine," Zia assured him, "Would you mind reaching the syrup? My metallic-legs won't lift me anymore," she shrugged sheepishly, "I tried. They broke."  
  
APU sighed and used his jets to reach the shelf where the syrup was, and brought it down to Zia's waiting hands.  
  
"Thank you," she said, and put the bottle on the table.  
  
Then GIR rushed into the room, "GOOD MORNIIIIIIIING, HOUSE!! Do I smell waffles??"  
  
Zia giggled, "Yes, GIR. They should be ready in a few minutes."  
  
"Yay!" GIR said, and then patted Zia's belly affectionately, "Hi Babies! You're comin' out today!"  
  
Zim's eyes widened, "You're due today, aren't you?" he realized.  
  
"Mm-Hmm," Zia nodded, bringing a large plate of waffles over to the table, "And I feel great for some strange reason. Well, eat up boys! I'm sure we've got an interesting day ahead of us!"  
  
GIR hopped into his chair and grabbed a fork and knife eagerly. Zim shrugged, decided to just go with the flow, and sat down as well. APU sat, but didn't eat – just like robots were supposed to. Zia pulled herself into the last chair with an effort, and beamed at them all proudly. Then breakfast began.  
  
* * *  
  
Up on the moon, the sleek maroon colored ship lifted up off the dusty ground. As it started towards Earth, the sun glinted off the sides, bringing out the name Wraith Shadow etched on the silver stripe on the right side.  
  
* * *  
  
Afternoon dragged on, but Zia's spirits were still high. But she was getting restless being shut in the house. She tried watching TV like she had every other day for the past two weeks, but found she just didn't have the patience for it. So she wandered down to the repair bay and fixed her broken spider-legs – which didn't take very long at all.  
  
By mid-afternoon, she had settled down in the lab and was going over the data that the Tallest were coming to retrieve, knowing she shouldn't worry, but worrying all the same. As she was scanning the information for a third time, Zim came up behind her and cleared his throat.  
  
Instinctively, she shut of the data projector and it snapped back inside her jetpack. "Yes?" she asked, turning to face him.  
  
"I, um…was just wondering," Zim said, tugging at his collar, "Would you like to get out of the house tonight? Maybe get something to eat that isn't take-out?"  
  
Zia grinned, "Are you asking me out to dinner?"  
  
"Yes," he gulped.  
  
"I'd love to," she said. She moved to stand up winced.  
  
"Are you ok?" he asked urgently.  
  
"Oh yeah, I'm fine," he put a hand on her back, "Just got up a little too fast. That's all."  
  
"Ok then," he said, and took her arm, "Let's go."  
  
* * *  
  
"Mistress, I don't approve of this," APU said, "You're too close to term to be going anywhere without me." He had stopped Zim and Zia on their way out the door. GIR stood behind him, tugging on his arm, trying to get him to lay off.  
  
"I'll be fine – I promise," Zia said, "Besides – if that probe droid comes back, it'll come here first, won't it?"  
  
"Yes," APU said grudgingly.  
  
"So…you'll have an opportunity to take it out before it can gather any more data," Zia said, "Then maybe we can figure out where it's been coming from."  
  
APU sighed, "Very well, Mistress. But know that I'm only staying here because it's against my programming to disobey you. I don't like this. Not one bit."  
  
"Stop worrying," she said, "We'll be back before you know it."  
  
And then she and Zim left, shutting the door behind them. APU folded his arms disapprovingly. GIR stopped tugging on his arm and went to watch TV.  
  
Zim and Zia were barely two blocks away when the shadow of the Wraith Shadow loomed across the neighborhood, creeping slowly towards the base.  
  
* * *  
  
It was six-thirty when they first heard it. It was a soft thumping sound on the roof. APU jerked his head up, and even GIR glanced around, confused. Before either of them could do anything, the front door was blasted in by a huge explosion!!  
  
Both robots hit the deck, as debris flew over their heads. They looked up as the smoke cleared. The bounty huntress stepped through the doorway, a cruel grin tugging at her lips.  
  
APU leapt to his feet. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded. GIR ducked behind him, frightened.  
  
The bounty huntress put a hand to her chest, "Of course, how rude of me. I am Shyra Jasten, proud member of the Bounty Hunters Guild."  
  
"I only needed you name," APU said quickly, accessing all of his weaponry, "So I can tell my Mistress who it is I've killed."  
  
Shyra laughed, "You sure talk big for such a little thing. But enough talk. It's not you I'm interested in you. Where's your Mistress at?"  
  
"You'll never know!!!" APU shouted, opening fire on her.  
  
In a blur of motion, Shyra whipped out what looked like a baton made of energy and spun it expertly between her fingers. The energy bands absorbed the laser blasts as quickly as they came.  
  
While still spinning the baton in one hand, she pulled a small detonator from the sleeve of her other arm, and flung it at APU. He redirected his fire and reduced the detonator to ashes, but not before it exploded on contact with his lasers! The blast sent him sprawling backwards, and GIR rushed to hide behind the TV, still terrified.  
  
Shyra took a few steps forward, pocketing the baton and pulling a blaster out of a holster on her thigh. "Not bad, short stuff," she said, "But not good enough."  
  
APU stood back up just as the roof was blown to bits! He was thrown against the floor as the fragments rained down on them. Shyra looked up and grinned. ZS-567 floated down through the huge opening in the ceiling. "Nice fireworks, no?" She said, "My little probe droid is a genius when it comes to correct placement of thermal detonators. He knows just how to make the perfect 'boom'."  
  
She petted ZS fondly, and just seconds later, the droid was blown away by a volley of APU's lasers. Shyra ducked behind the couch, which APU, in his fury, began blasting to smithereens. He slowed to a stop after a short while. "Drop your weapons and step out from behind the couch, with your hands up," he said.  
  
Shyra's blaster came sailing up over the couch and skidded across the floor, landing at APU's feet. Then she stood up, hands above her head, and stepped around to the front of the couch. "GIR," APU said, "Get a detainment chamber."  
  
GIR ran off through the kitchen.  
  
APU turned back to Shyra. "Some all powerful bounty hunter," he said.  
  
"You got me," Shyra said, suppressing a smirk, "I know when I've been beaten."  
  
APU barely had time to note her sarcastic turn before she'd whipped another detonator from her sleeve and hurled it expertly at him. He blasted it quickly, but as he did, a second one hit him in the side of the head!  
  
He stumbled backwards, and when the smoke cleared, a piece of his head was missing, as was the top right half of his body. His right arm lay limp on the floor beside him. He cocked his left arm's guns, and opened fire again.  
  
Shyra danced expertly out of the way and hurled yet another detonator at him. This one hit him straight on and he was thrown backwards violently. She crossed the room to where he lay in pieces, picked up her blaster and holstered it. "Stupid robot," she said.  
  
Then a high-pitched scream pierced the air around her. She jumped, startled, and looked around. GIR was standing in the kitchen doorway, holding the detainment chamber over his head, screaming at the site of APU blown to bits!  
  
"You!!" she cried, and before she could pull out her blaster, the little should-be-SIR unit had hurled the huge container at her. It pinned her, facedown, to the floor. "You little pest!!" she screamed, "ZS!! Get this thing off of me!!"  
  
As ZS floated over to assist her, GIR gathered up APU's pieces into his head, and began running off, still screaming.  
  
Shyra growled in frustration and took quick aim at him and pulled the trigger of her wrist laser.  
  
Out in the front yard, the mini-blast hit GIR, and blew his right arm off. Whimpering, he picked it up and ran off into the night. He knew what he had to do: he had to find Master and Mistress – and FAST!! 


	14. Chapter 13 - The Egg is Laid at Last

Chapter 13 – The Egg is Laid at Last  
  
At the Town Diner (of Doom!), Zim and Zia were enjoying a completely meat- free meal. The waiter had been a little confused when they had asked for the non-meat section, but he was trained to obey, so it was not a big issue.  
  
As the couple ate, Zim ranted about Skool problems. "Then that…DIB…had the nerve to say….RRRR…in front of the whole class!!" he said angrily.  
  
"And this was how long ago?" Zia asked.  
  
"Oh, before you crashed here," he said quickly as if it didn't really matter.  
  
"And you're still mad?"  
  
"Well…" Zim said, "I actually forgot what he'd said…but it makes me mad anyway!!"  
  
"Ok…" Zia said, confused.  
  
Zim looked at her for a minute. "I'm sorry. It's just that…once I get started on the Dib-monkey, it's hard to stop. Sounds pretty superficial, huh?"  
  
"A little," Zia said, reaching out and putting her hand over his, "You really shouldn't let him get to you like this."  
  
"You're right, as usual," Zim said, "I should be concerned with other things anyway." He gave her a meaningful look and she smiled.  
  
"I'm fine, really," she said.  
  
Just then, the front door slammed open. GIR stood in the doorway, panting and looking panicked. He scanned the crowd quickly and spotted the Irkens. "Master!! Mistress!!" he cried, rushing over to them.  
  
"GIR! What are you doing here??" Zim demanded, "And what happened to your arm…were you playing in the blender again??"  
  
GIR shook his head frantically. "No! No! No!" he said and then began speaking a mile a minute, "We were watching TV and then there was a big noise and then the door went BOOM and then the bad lady came! Bad, bad lady! And then the roof went BOOM and APU was shooting at bad lady but bad lady shot him first and bad lady got stuck under the big thingy and then she shot my arm and then I ran and ran and ran and ran all the way here!!"  
  
GIR panted as he finished his speech. The whole restaurant was silent, and everyone was staring at them.  
  
Zim glanced around worriedly and then declared, "Under the table!!"  
  
So they all ducked under the table, Zia with a little difficulty.  
  
Zim looked at GIR. "I didn't catch a word of that. What happened??"  
  
"Where's APU??" Zia asked worriedly.  
  
"In my head," GIR said, tapping his forehead with his left hand. Then he opened his head and the projector came out. He played a fast-forwarded account of Shyra's entrance. Zim and Zia watched, wide-eyed.  
  
As the projection ended and GIR closed the projector into his head, they heard the front door open again. They peaked under the table cloth and saw Shyra threatening the waiter with her blaster. The probe droid was not with her. The strain of lifting the detainment chamber off of her had left it worn out and in need of recharging. She had sent it unsteadily back to the Wraith Shadow.  
  
"GIR!" Zim cried urgently, "Come here!" Abruptly, he grabbed GIR by the head and examined him. He found a metallic-looking beetle crawling around on the back of GIR's head. "Ah ha! A tracking bug! That's how she found us so quickly," he said.  
  
"What now?" Zia asked, "The waiter won't stall her for much longer."  
  
Zim closed his fingers around the bug. "GIR – you take Zia somewhere safe. Don't go back to the base – she'll expect that. I'll plant this bug on some unsuspecting stink-beast and then join you."  
  
GIR's eyes went red and he saluted. "Yes, SIR!"  
  
Zia turned to Zim, "You'll be careful, won't you?"  
  
"Hey," Zim said, "It's me."  
  
Zia rolled her eyes. Zim climbed up onto the table and began trying to pry the window open. When that didn't work, he grabbed a tray from a passing waiter and threw it through the window. It shattered, leaving nothing but the frame in the wall. "All right, GIR, let's go," he said, then hopped out the window.  
  
GIR lifted Zia up with his remaining arm (amazing, yes?) and handed her down to Zim. Well, kind of tossed her really, but Zim broke her fall with his body. Then GIR climbed out the window and picked her up again.  
  
Zim coughed and sputtered and stood up, dazed. He shook it off and said, "Go on! Hurry up! I'll be there in a minute."  
  
"Okie-dokie!!" GIR said and ran off.  
  
Zim watched them turn the corner and then heard Shyra scream with rage when she saw her prey had gotten away. He took off just as she poked her head out the broken window. She pulled out her tracking device and leapt out the window, dashing down the street after him.  
  
* * *  
  
At the Membrane household, Gaz was watching TV when there was a frantic knock at the front door. Annoyed, she called out, "Dib!! Get the door!!"  
  
From out in the garage, Dib called back, "Get it yourself! I'm a little busy!"  
  
Growling and swearing silent revenge on her brother, Gaz went to the front door and opened it. As soon as she had, GIR rushed in, still carrying Zia. He set her down on the couch, and leaned against the coffee table, panting.  
  
"What the heck…?" Gaz said, looking from one to the other.  
  
Zia nodded nervously, "I'm really sorry about this, Gaz," she said, "But-"  
  
"What are YOU doing here?!?!" came Dib's voice from the doorway between the house and the garage.  
  
"I was just going to explain-" Zia started, but another voice cut her off again.  
  
"GIR!! Why here of all places?!?!" It was Zim, standing in the front door.  
  
"Not you too!" Dib said. The two boys strode across the room until they were nearly nose-to-nose, glaring at each other.  
  
Gaz looked at Zia, "You were saying…?"  
  
"Oh right," Zia said, "See – there's this bounty hunter after me and she's destroyed our house. We need some place to hide-,"  
  
"Until she realizes she's chasing an ice-cream truck and gives up," Zim finished.  
  
"What makes you think I'd help you?" Dib asked.  
  
"You just will!!" Zim cried.  
  
As the boys continued to argue, Gaz asked Zia, "Hey…where's that robot that always follows you around?"  
  
"Right here," GIR said, spilling the pieces of APU out of his head.  
  
Zia put a hand to her mouth, shocked.  
  
Gaz looked at it, eyes open. "Whoa…you're not kidding when you said somebody's after you."  
  
"I wouldn't lie about something like this," Zia said, then she winced.  
  
"Hey are you ok?" Gaz asked.  
  
"I think so – ow!" Zia winced again, "uh oh…"  
  
GIR hurried over to her. "What's happening, Mistress?"  
  
"I think…" Zia said quietly, "I think I'm going into labor…the contractions are starting…"  
  
"Labor??" said Gaz, "You mean, Dib was right? You're pregnant?"  
  
Zia's voice was strained as she replied, "I won't be for much longer…" she put a hand on her stomach, not knowing how else to deal with the spurts of pain that kept coming.  
  
"Uh oh," Gaz said, and then some female-instinct kicked in and she turned to the boys, who were now through arguing and were wrestling on the floor, "Guys…Guys…Hey MORONS!!"  
  
Zim and Dib stopped where they were and looked up. Zim was on top of Dib, one hand holding him down while the other was lifted in a fist. Dib had one hand on Zim's throat and the other was pulling on his antenna (Zim's wig & contacts had been knocked off during the fight).  
  
"We've got a problem here," Gaz said, gesturing to Zia, who had now started to sweat, and was still cringing in pain.  
  
Zim let go of Dib and jumped up. "Oh my gosh! I almost forgot!" he cried, "Horrid Dib-creature! You distracted me!"  
  
"What??" Dib said, standing up and straightening his glasses, "What's going on?"  
  
"My mate is about to lay her egg," Zim said exasperatedly, "We need to get her someplace more appropriate!"  
  
"How about Dib's room?" Gaz suggested.  
  
"WHAT????" Dib exclaimed.  
  
"It'll do," Zim said, "Hurry!"  
  
So Gaz headed up the stairs, followed by GIR carrying Zia, then Zim, and Dib trailing behind, still protesting. Once up in Dib's room, Gaz ordered, "Shut the door and lock it, Dib."  
  
Dib did so grudgingly, "I still don't see why we're helping them," he muttered. He crossed the room and pressed a button on his desk. A thin plastic covering wrapped over everything. "At least my stuff is safe."  
  
Gaz spread a sheet over Dib's sofa-bed (which the girl behind the keyboard thought it would be cool for him to have), then GIR lifted Zia up onto it. She reached up and pulled off her disguise and tossed them on the floor.  
  
Dib just stared at her in shock. He couldn't believe this was happening – an alien was giving birth in his bedroom! As gross as this seemed to him, he figured it was something most paranormal investigators only dreamed about. He couldn't help feel sorry for Zia though, she really looked like she was in pain. He turned to Zim, "What do we do now?"  
  
"Mistress knows," GIR said, pointing at Zia.  
  
They both looked over and saw she was kicking her boots off and tugging at her leggings. GIR jumped up and grabbed Dib's glasses off of his face, "No looking!"  
  
"Hey! I wasn't going to – don't be disgusting!" Dib cried, feeling the empty air around him blindly, "Give me back my glasses!"  
  
GIR looked to Zim for approval. Zim didn't give the 'OK' until Zia was settled again. Then GIR stuck the glasses back on Dib's face. Dib blinked a few times, readjusting his eyes. As the world came back into focus, he saw Zim was at Zia's side, letting her squeeze the circulation out of his hand as she endured another contraction.  
  
Then Gaz started shoving him towards the door. "Go see if Dad's got anything in his lab that'll help."  
  
"What?" Dib asked, "Why would Dad have anything like that?"  
  
"I don't know," Gaz said, "He's got everything down there. Just go see."  
  
Grumbling, Dib headed downstairs. Prof. Membrane was in the kitchen, so he snuck quietly past and hurried down to the basement. Once there, he didn't know where to start. He searched the area quickly and was surprised to find a large cabinet labeled "KIDS THINGS".  
  
Curious, but not thinking it could help, Dib opened the cabinet. Inside were shelves of invented-toys that they'd out-grown. And below that, there was a very high-tech looking device labeled "Fetal Monitor".  
  
Dib raised an eyebrow, "Why would you KEEP that??" The he shrugged and picked it up – it was amazingly light. He realized Prof. Membrane must have built this one especially for their mother. His expression saddened as he thought of the mother he couldn't remember. But he couldn't dwell on it for to long, because he heard footsteps on the stairs!  
  
He ducked into the shadows of the staircase and watched as his dad came into the lab, carrying the pieces of APU! "Honestly, the things these kids leave lying around," he was saying, "I guess I've got time to fix it now…"  
  
Dib didn't waste time to worry. He darted upstairs as soon as his dad's back was turned. When he got back to his room, things hadn't changed much. Zim, Gaz and GIR looked up as he came in. "Finally," Gaz said, coming over to look at what he'd brought, "Let's get her hooked up to this."  
  
"Gaz…" Dib said, "I don't know how to use that."  
  
"I've played games more complicated than this," she said, taking the monitor from him. In a matter of minutes, she had Zia hooked up to it and had it running. A small screen on the front showed a line graph of the contractions as they came and went. Below that, there was a monitor meant for keeping track of the baby's condition. That part didn't work because of the egg shell, but they didn't really worry about it.  
  
The contractions continued for about a half-hour, and then the pain really started it. "Oh," Zia moaned, "Here it comes…"  
  
Zim was looking almost as exhausted as Zia was, but he hadn't left her side for a minute. He swallowed hard and stroked her head gently. "It's ok," he said softly, "Just hold on."  
  
She nodded bravely, and shut her eyes as the egg started its decent. She bit her tongue to keep from crying out in pain, but tears were welling in her eyes. She gave Zim's hand another squeeze, but by this time it had already gone numb, so he didn't react. He just kept comforting her, trying his best to be supportive.  
  
Dib and GIR watched from the sidelines in awe. GIR was seated on the floor, cradling his unattached arm. Dib was just standing there, totally overwhelmed by the whole thing.  
  
The door opened and they boys all looked up, alarmed, but it was just Gaz, who had gone down the hall for a dry cloth, which she gave to Zim after she shut the door. He wiped down Zia's face and then his own, as he was sweating even more than she was.  
  
Time seemed to stand still until Zia screamed and the egg was out, with an unexpected 'pop'. It slid off the sofa-bed and across the floor, leaving a trail of green slime behind it. It came to a stop at Gaz's feet. She reached down and picked it up. It was about 15 inches long and 10 inches in diameter, and a pale green color with dark green spots.  
  
"Wow…" Dib breathed, "Alien slime!!" He rushed to his desk and pulled out a vile and held it under the egg, letting the slime-coating drip into it.  
  
"It's huge," Gaz said.  
  
GIR smiled, "That's 'cuz there's TWO babies inside! Right?"  
  
Zim didn't answer. He had fainted from relief.  
  
Zia sighed, a mix of relief and fatigue. Gaz walked over to her, holding out the egg. "Congratulations…I guess," she said.  
  
"Thanks," Zia said, "I'm really sorry about this…thank you both."  
  
Dib put a hand behind his head and grinned sheepishly, "Aw, it was nothin'."  
  
Gaz groaned.  
  
GIR poked at Zim. "Master? Master, wake up!"  
  
"Huh…? Wha…?" Zim said as he sat up.  
  
"Welcome back," Zia said, "We did it."  
  
"We…we did?" Zim asked, then noticed the egg Gaz was still holding, "We did – didn't we?"  
  
"Yup," Dib said, and put a hand on Zim's shoulder, "I never would have thought you could – but you pulled it off. Congrats."  
  
Zim looked at Dib, trying to hide the gratitude he was feeling. "Yeah, thanks," he muttered. He turned back to Zia, but she had fallen peacefully to sleep.  
  
"I think she's got the right idea," Gaz said, wiping the slime off the egg with the towel she'd brought in earlier.  
  
Dib opened his closet and pulled out a pile of blankets. The laid one over Zia, and wrapped the egg in another, in an attempt to keep it warm. Then they each sat down on the floor, leaning against the sofa-bed, each bundled in their own blanket. It barely took them any time to fall asleep, as the night's events had taken a toll on all of them.  
  
* * *  
  
Out in the streets, Shyra let out a cry of outrage at the universe. Then she accepted temporary failure and summoned the Wraith Shadow to her.  
  
***A note from the Girl behind the Keyboard: Ok guys! I'm announcing the "Design the Bounty Hunter Contest!" I can't seem to finalize what I think Shyra Jasten should look like – so I'd love to see what you think! Just use the description I've given in previous chapters. If any of you are interested, you can put a link to the pictures in your review of the next chapter. There's no real prize involved (sorry I can't afford it), but I'll announce which one I like best after a few days. Ok? So, I hope to get some response from you guys – you know I love you all! Later – Invader Sam ^_~ *** 


	15. Chapter 14 - Unlikely Political Refugees

Chapter 14 – Unlikely Political Refugees  
  
As Zim woke up the next morning, it took him a few minutes to remember where he was. As the room came into focus in the dull light of dawn, it all came rushing back to him. He glanced over at Dib and Gaz, still asleep on his right and GIR, curled up in a ball, hugging his unattached arm and snoring softly.  
  
He stood up and turned to look at his mate. She was sleeping soundly on the sofa-bed. He couldn't help thinking that she'd never looked more beautiful. He noticed her stomach had already returned to normal size – the extra- flexible Irken skin had reverted back to normal not long after the egg was laid.  
  
Remembering the egg, he crossed the room to where they'd set it down the night before, wrapped in the blanket. He knelt down beside it, amazed. 'My children are in there,' he thought, putting a hand on the smooth surface. It was still warm – a good sign. But it wouldn't stay that way if they left it out in the open air for too long.  
  
He heard a soft murmur behind him and turned around. Zia was waking up. He hurried back to her side. "Good Morning," he said, "How're you holding up?"  
  
"I've been better," she admitted, "But I feel a lot lighter."  
  
She smiled at him and he felt his heart melt. She really was glowing that morning. "I love you," he said.  
  
Without a word, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in for a kiss. They broke apart quickly when the sound of someone clearing their throat broke the silence. Dib was awake and looking at them quizzically.  
  
Zim cleared his own throat, blushing.  
  
"Good morning, Dib," Zia said.  
  
"Huh?" Dib said, a little flustered, "Oh, um, hi."  
  
Gaz was the next to wake up. She yawned and stretched, and then looked up at her brother. "What am I doing in your – oh yeah. Never mind." She turned to say something to the Irkens, but GIR cut her off.  
  
"I'm hungry!" he said, waving his unattached arm in the air, 'What's for breakfast."  
  
"Robots don't eat," Gaz told him.  
  
"GIR does," Zim said, "Don't ask how. The technical aspects are just too complicated to explain." He puffed out his chest importantly.  
  
"Oh come on," Dib said, "He's just crazy! There's nothing advanced about him."  
  
"What is for breakfast?" Zia asked, quickly changing the subject.  
  
"Let's go find out," Gaz said, "Come on, Dib." She grabbed her brother by the ear and tugged him out of the room with her.  
  
When they got downstairs, Prof. Membrane was sitting at the kitchen table, with APU!!  
  
"I've never seen such an interactive toy before," Membrane was saying, looking into APU's head with his x-ray laser-pen.  
  
"I've already told you, sir," APU said, frustrated, "I'm NOT a toy. I'm a scientifically programmed robot. And I'd like to know where I am."  
  
"DAD!!" Dib cried, "What are you doing with that??"  
  
The Professor looked up. "Oh hello, son, daughter," he said, "I found this toy of yours on the floor last night. It was broken, so I fixed it."  
  
APU recognized Dib and Gaz. "What am I doing here??"  
  
"That's not –," Dib started to say, but Gaz stepped on his foot – hard. He yelped in pain and began hopping around the kitchen, holding his foot.  
  
"Yeah, thanks, Dad," Gaz said, "I'll just take Dib's toy back up to his room." She grabbed APU by the arm and quickly led him away, flashing her dad a false smile. At the staircase, she told him, "Zim and Zia are upstairs – the room at the end of the hall."  
  
Confused, APU headed up the stairs. Gaz turned back towards the kitchen, but Dib was already coming out, holding a tray of toast and juice. "I've got breakfast – and Dad's not too suspicious yet. Come on," he said.  
  
So they both headed after APU.  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile, at that same moment, across town, the teachers of the Skool were holding a meeting…somewhere other than at Skool. They were all gathered into one big room, which wasn't good to begin with, but they all seemed angry. The crowd grew quiet as Ms. Bitters floated creepily up to the podium.  
  
"We're all here today," she growled, "Not because I invited you – I think you're all horrible. But because the Skool board has crossed the line by cutting our wages." The crowd erupted into angry shouts. "SILENCE!!" Ms. Bitters shouted, and the teachers fell silent again, "Now we have something else to hate besides children – the Skool Board. So we're not showing up on Monday!"  
  
"YEAH!!" the crowd cheered.  
  
"Substitutes are idiots unless we leave them notes!" a teacher in the front row shouted.  
  
"Yeah!" yelled another, "They'll be forced to close the Skool!"  
  
The teachers all laughed evilly. And their evil laughed was heard all around…um…the place where they were… (If I told you where, I'd have to kill you – don't make me do that, I don't want to).  
  
* * *  
  
So the teachers went on strike (nice plot device, no?). It was in all the papers the next morning, and there was mass child-celebrating and parent- complaining. It was also very good news for Zim and Zia, who didn't yet risk going out in the open, and Dib and Gaz, who didn't know how much longer they could hide them before Prof. Membrane got suspicious.  
  
The papers were unclear as to how long Skool would be closed, so they took advantage of the time that they had. They kept the egg hidden in the oven, which no one at the Membrane household used anyway. That afternoon, Zim fixed GIR's arm while Zia explained to APU what had happened after he'd been blown to bits. He was still angry about that, but he let Zia continue her recap without blowing his top.  
  
"And that's about it," she finished.  
  
APU nodded, "I see," he said, "I'm sure that it was not the evening you intended, eh?"  
  
"Not at all," Zia agreed, "But it's all right. At least it's over."  
  
"And what about you, Mistress?' he asked, "How has your body been readjusting?"  
  
"I'm fine," Zia insisted, but APU began a scan of her body anyway. When he was satisfied with what he saw, he switched back to normal vision.  
  
Zim finished with GIR, "There – how's that?"  
  
GIR spun his arm around in a crazy circle. "Yay! Thank you, Master!" he cried, hugging Zim around the middle, "I'm as happy as a taco!!"  
  
"Uh huh…" Zim said, and then turned to Zia, "How soon do you think you'd be able to make the trip back to the base?"  
  
Zia looked surprised, "Why?" she asked, "do you think it's safe to head back already?"  
  
"I don't know – I'm asking!" Zim said, "I'm just saying, the Dib-thing probably won't tolerate us being here much longer."  
  
Zia nodded. "But the Shyra Jasten's still out there. Believe me Zim, I've dealt with bounty hunters before – and they don't give up easily."  
  
APU interjected, "Mistress – requesting permission to scout out the base. You know, see how badly it's damaged, if that infernal probe droid is poking its circuits where they don't belong…"  
  
"Go ahead," Zia said, "But be careful." APU saluted and started off, but Zia stopped him, "Oh, and bring back the incubator tube I built."  
  
"Of course," APU said, and marched off.  
  
"Bye-bye!!" GIR waved after him.  
  
Once he was gone, Zim turned to Zia, "When did you have time to build that?"  
  
Zia shrugged, "You didn't think I just watched TV for the past two weeks, did you?"  
  
"Oh. I guess not. Good thinking," he said, hopping up onto the sofa-bed next to her and sighed, "I just hope the Tallest get here soon. I'll be glad when this whole bounty hunter mess is over."  
  
* * *  
  
Out in the middle of space, a small refugee transport glided through the inky blackness. At the window on the side, Purple stood watching the stars and planets go by. He sighed and looked over at Red, who was sleeping in his chair. He turned back to the window, wishing he had someone to talk to.  
  
They had been traveling for a few days now and things were getting kind of boring, which made Purple all the more nervous. Even in his younger days he had always been unnerved by the calm that almost always preceded the storm. And the storm that was waiting to break this time might be one of the bigger ones they'd have to face.  
  
Red didn't want to admit it, but they both knew that the death threats they'd received were serious. It had actually been on the Council's advice that they'd fled, heading to Earth. It made Purple feel good know that the people still worried about them. He'd never mentioned it to Red but he couldn't help feeling that they were doing a lousy job as Tallest.  
  
Of course, he'd always been the sensitive one. But he couldn't help wonder why moral among the people was always so low. He'd tried to tell Red what he'd found out a few times, but Red didn't seem to care. All the power had gone to his head and there seemed to be no turning back.  
  
Purple hung his head and sighed again. He leaned against the cool glass, having thoroughly depressed himself with his wandering thoughts. Red slept on.  
  
* * *  
  
APU dashed through the chaos-ridden streets towards the base. The chaos was due to the whole teacher-strike mess, but APU didn't care enough to notice. His main concern became visible as he rounded the last bend. What was left of Zim's house was attempting to repair itself. It hadn't gotten very far, and there were now three probe droids circling the area.  
  
Seeing the droids, something in APU's mind snapped (most likely, it was the part that GIR had added as a special touch). With a war-cry distinctly like Zim's he pulled out all of his weapons and opened fire on the droids! They each hit the ground seconds later, smoking pieces of space-trash.  
  
He smiled, quite satisfied with his work. Then he entered the base. It was just as ruined on the inside as it was on the outside. He glanced around sadly at the wreckage, and vowed revenge on the bounty hunter at the next chance he got. The elevator was still working, and it took him only a few minutes to find the incubator tube. He carried it out of the base, and picked up the three smoking droids off the yard as well. With his arms full, he marched back to Dib's house. 


	16. Chapter 15 - Incubation Time: 4 Months

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this one up, but with Finals coming up this week it's been kinda hectic. Also, I sort of ran out of creative juices up until Sinday, so I've finally gotten this next installment done for you guys. I hope you all like it! – Invader Sam ^_~  
  
Chapter 15 – Incubation Time: 4 Months  
  
"APU! You're back!...What is all that?" Zia asked as her loyal bodyguard returned to Dib's bedroom that evening. She was alone in the room.  
  
APU set the incubator tube on the ground and let the three broken probe droids fall to the floor roughly. "Things are not looking good on the home front, Mistress," he reported, "I found these circling around like hungry Vrellts. I'm sure there will be more of them."  
  
Zia picked up one of the droids and examined it. "These models are a lot cheaper that the ZS-567 Shyra had last time. She can probably order these in bulk on Verundi…this isn't good," she said, putting the droid down, "What's our next move?"  
  
"For once, Mistress," APU sighed, "I don't know."  
  
At that moment, Zim and GIR entered the room. Zim cradled the egg in his arms. "We heard APU come in," he said, "Let's get the egg where it belongs."  
  
Zia plugged the incubator into an electrical outlet on the wall, and the glass tube lit up inside. She pushed a button on the rim and the glass tube slid open. Zim set the egg in the tube, and once it had closed, it filled with a translucent purple liquid. The egg floated in the tube silently.  
  
GIR's eyes followed the egg as it bobbed up and down in the incubator. After a moment, he got dizzy and fell down.  
  
Zim shook his head. "GIR never ceases to astound me."  
  
The door opened again, and they all turned, except GIR, whose eyes were still spinning with dizziness. It was Dib, carrying a pizza box. "Hey," he said, "Gaz said I could bring this up to you – WOW!! What IS that thing??" he cried, pointing to the glass tube set in the center of the room.  
  
"What does it look like?" Zim said indignantly, "This is the incubator we needed to properly care for the egg."  
  
"PIZZA!!!" GIR yelled, jumping to his feet and taking the box from Dib.  
  
Dib didn't object, but he looked really weary. The aliens' antics were tiring even when he only saw them during Skool. But keeping them hidden in his house was beginning to get to him.  
  
Zia seemed to notice, and she tapped Zim gently. He looked over at her, and she glanced over at the probe droids. Zim got the idea and reluctantly picked up the droid closest to him. He approached Dib and shoved the droid into his arms. "A bit of payment for your services," Zim said quickly, "Take it and do what you want with it."  
  
Dib looked down at the large spherical droid. "Wow…" he breathed, "Wow!! I can't believe this! This is incredible! My own probe droid!" He ran off happily, "I'm gonna have Dad fix it."  
  
Zim scowled as the door shut behind Dib. "I can't believe you made me do that," he said.  
  
"Hey, we owe him that much, don't we?" Zia said, "I mean, he could have reported us a long time ago…but he didn't."  
  
Zim sighed, "You're right…again. I guess that's why I love you so much."  
  
She smiled and squeezed his hand.  
  
GIR held out a piece of pizza to APU, who just looked at it, revolted.  
  
* * *  
  
Back on the moon, Shyra Jasten waited impatiently for her probes to return. When they were three hours late, she put a breath-mask on and stepped out of the ship. She activated her jetpack and took off looking for them, thinking they might have gotten lost on the dark side of the moon. She found nothing.  
  
Irritated, she returned to the Wraith Shadow. Once inside, she ripped off the breath-mask and called, "ZS! Come here!"  
  
The droid floated towards her obediently. She stroked him fondly. "You won't let me down, will you?" she cooed. ZS beeped. "That's a good boy. Now go on. Find your inferiors." ZS floated out of the ship, heading back towards Earth once again.  
  
Shyra watched him go, and then pulled off her helmet, revealing dazzling green eyes. She brushed her black hair out of her face and sighed. This job was taking too long – her employers were getting impatient. If she didn't catch her bounty soon – they'd probably hire someone else! Her reputation would be shot – and she couldn't afford that.  
  
She slammed a palm down on the back of the pilot's chair angrily. The Irkens were supposed to be self-conscious and cocky. How was it that they could stay hidden from her? And why did they not return to their base? Where else would they be taking refuge?  
  
She sat down and began typing away at her console. The monitor showed her a thermal scan of the city where her bounty was living. Irkens had a drastic differentiation in body temperature from the primitive humanoids that inhabited the planet. Yet the scans were picking up nothing unusual.  
  
If only she had known that the Membrane household emitted so much chemical interference that it could not even be projected in the scan, she would have been furious. And already her temper was boiling inside of her.  
  
She shut off the scanner and slumped low in her chair, ultimately fed up with the whole thing. Then she decided – she wasn't going to rely on technology much longer. A primitive planet called for primitive methods. She would take the search into her own hands…and then it would only be a short time before she was home free, and counting her reward.  
  
She couldn't wait.  
  
* * *  
  
That night, in Dib's room, the gang was seated around the incubation tube with all the lights out. The tube's iridescent light flickered across their faces, making the whole scene resemble a very weird camp-out.  
  
"So…" Gaz said, "How long will it take for it to hatch now, anyway?"  
  
"The incubation process takes a total of four months," APU said, the textbooks in his head coming in handy once again, "As time goes on, the egg shell will actually deteriorate from being submerged in the Kronisian jelly, and the fetuses will attach themselves to the actual tube, which will provide them with all the vital nutrients until they are ready to be activated."  
  
"Activated?" Dib asked, bewildered. In his hands he held a notepad where he was jotting down everything APU was saying.  
  
APU opened his mouth to explain, but Zim cut him off. "I don't think it's a good idea to be giving the Dib-thing all this information," he said, "You never know what he'll do with it once we're out of here, and I for one don't want to put the hatchlings in danger."  
  
"Relax," Zia said, "So what if he knows? There's no way he could prove any of it."  
  
"Yeah!" Dib said, "Wait…"  
  
"Still – I don't like it," Zim said sternly, "So you -," he pointed at APU, "-silence your textbooks."  
  
APU folded his arms, "Yes, Zim."  
  
"Why won't you address me properly?" Zim asked, irritated.  
  
"Because I don't see you as my Master," APU snapped.  
  
Zim was about to shoot back with a cruel remark, but then Dib's eyes widened with recognition. "WHOA! Wait a minute!" he cried, "Did you say FOUR MONTHS?? There's no way we can keep you here that long – I mean Dad's getting suspicious as it is."  
  
"You have a point," Gaz said, "It figures, the ONE time we want him to leave us alone, he takes a random interest in what we're doing."  
  
Zia and Zim made eye contact. They both new they couldn't stay there any longer. "We have to go back," Zia said, "We can't hide forever."  
  
Zim nodded. "All right, fine. We'll return to the base. Once we're inside, we can modify the defenses to fit the new droids' profiles. But getting in there will be a bit more difficult…hmmm…." He tapped a finger to his chin, deep in thought.  
  
* * *  
  
So the next morning, our intrepid band left the safe refuge of the membrane household and made the three block trek back to the base. Zim lead the way boldly, with Zia following closely behind him. Both Irkens were in their disguises. GIR and APU brought up the rear, carrying the incubator (which was cleverly cloaked as a large bologna roll. Neither robot was disguised fully, but they wore aprons and visors that read "Dee-lishus Weenie".  
  
As they turned the corner into the cul-de-sac, they spotted the base, only half-finished with its repairs, being circled by half a dozen probe droids. Zim put a hand out and the group halted.  
  
"How are we gonna get past them?" Zia whispered urgently.  
  
Zim glanced back at the bots, "GIR?" he said, "You remember what to do – don't you?"  
  
"Yes!!" GIR said, really meaning it. He handed the 'bologna' over to APU, who shifted under its weight. Then he marched off towards the base.  
  
"Are you…sure this will work?" APU asked incredulously.  
  
"Will what work?" Zia asked.  
  
"GIR is going to create a diversion," Zim explained, "And while the droids are distracted, we'll sneak inside. Your body guard will take care of the droids once the egg is safe inside the base."  
  
Zia nodded, and the followed GIR at a distance, stopping outside the fence, while he marched into the yard.  
  
"Yoo-Hoo!!" he called, waving at the droids. They turned at the sound. Then GIR pulled a top-hat and cane seemingly out of nowhere and began dancing and singing the Doom Song. Confused, the droids came closer to him.  
  
"Now!" Zim whispered. They darted behind the droids silently, or sort of silently. Zim actually tripped over his own feet half-way across the yard, but Zia picked him up and they kept going, making it into the house without being noticed.  
  
GIR kept up his dance until he saw APU emerge from the house. Then he took a quick bow and ran off. The droids turned around again, and didn't even have time to register what was happening before they were blasted to pieces!  
  
The droids fell to the grass and the gnomes moved in on them as APU marched triumphantly back inside.  
  
* * *  
  
Down in the lab, Zia finished installing the incubator to the main computer. "There," she said as she finished, wiping a bit of grease off her gloves with a rag, "Now the base can not only keep the tube running, it can monitor the fetuses development."  
  
"Excellent!" Zim said, "Now, I've split our power between defenses and repair. We can take some time now to develop a cloaking devise for the base. If we plan on staying here, we'll have to make it seem as if we're no longer here…"  
  
Zia rolled her eyes, wondering what plan Zim could be concocting.  
  
* * *  
  
"You have got to be kidding…" Zia said in disbelief.  
  
Zim was standing in front of her, wrapped in an electric blanket, with a hot-water-bottle strapped to his head. "It's genius!" he said, "This way, she won't pick us up on her thermal scanner!"  
  
Zia stared at him, eyes narrow like an anime characters. "Uh…huh…" she said, "You really are a dumb-ass aren't you?"  
  
GIR popped up behind Zim. He also had a hot-water-bottle strapped to his head. "My head's melting!" he announced.  
  
Zia turned to APU who had seen the whole thing and was shaking his head in defeated disgust. "Do you have any better ideas?" she asked him.  
  
"I'll work on it," he said, and walked off.  
  
"What's wrong with my idea?" Zim demanded.  
  
Zia sighed, "Oh, I dunno," then she grinned, "Maybe it just covers too much of your gorgeous self."  
  
"…'Gorgeous'…?" Zim echoed, in an instant, he tossed off the blanket and bottle, and put his hands on his hips, grinning at her.  
  
"Much better," she said, taking his arm, "Now let's go see what APU can come up with." With that, the floor opened up and all three of them were lowered down to the lab. 


	17. Chapter 16 - Midnight Reflections

A/N: Ok, I was watching "AFI's 100 Years – 100 Passions" last night and got all warm & fuzzy inside – so this chapter's a little mushy. I hope you like it anyway! ^_^  
  
Chapter 16 – Midnight Reflections  
  
"So you can see, Mistress," APU said, "The new cloaking program I've installed will give the illusion that the base is still in disrepair and vacant. I've also set up a lock-out program to jam the huntress's scanners."  
  
"Very nice, APU," Zia said. She and Zim were standing behind APU as he displayed the schematics of the newly installed defenses.  
  
"I could've thought of that," Zim said hotly.  
  
APU shook his head. "Zim, if we had to survive using your brain meats alone, we'd all be dead by now," he said.  
  
"APU!" Zia scolded.  
  
"It's the sorry truth, Mistress," APU said, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and brief the gnomes." He marched off quickly, leaving the Irkens alone in the lab.  
  
Zim folded his arms, "I swear – that robot of yours has it in for me – "  
  
"He's just jealous," Zia said, but Zim didn't seem to hear her.  
  
He continued his rant, "He's trying to tear us apart – I just know it! He –,"  
  
"He won't," Zia said gently, putting a hand over his.  
  
"Did I tell you?" Zim continued, still angry, "What he did the night after…you know…anyway, he tried to kill me!! If the Tallest hadn't called, he probably would have, too!! And –"  
  
"Zim! Calm down!" Zia said, putting her hands on his shoulders, "Look at me, Zim. I love you. And nothing APU says or does is going to change that." She paused. "You do know that…don't you…?"  
  
Zim gave her a grateful look. "…I do now," he said, "I'm sorry…but…I've never had anything as good as you before – that must sound really chauvinistic, but I don't mean it like that – and…I don't know what I'd do if someone did take you away…"  
  
Zia pulled him close. "No one's going to take me away…and if they do, you know I'd come back."  
  
Zim closed his eyes, letting his head rest on her shoulder. He tightened his arms around her, as if he never wanted to let go. But she pulled away from him after a moment.  
  
"Come on," she said, "We've got a lot of work to do. This isn't over."  
  
"Right," he nodded, "Well, let's get to it!"  
  
* * *  
  
That night, after what was a very tiring day, neither Zim nor Zia could sleep. Zim was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling of their sleeping quarters. Zia was on her side, facing away from him. So, naturally, they each thought that the other was sleeping.  
  
Zim exhaled deeply. He started letting his brain sort out all that had happened to him during the past few months – and there certainly was a lot to sort out. The moment it had all started was when Zia had come crashing back into his life. Now he was grateful for it – it was probably the one good thing that had ever really happened to him – but when it had happened (and he'd never admit this) he had been scared and confused. He thought he'd had things figured out and then…BOOM! Nothing made sense anymore. He was acting on an impulse he hadn't known he'd had before. He'd had butterflies in his Squeegily Spooch anytime she was around him. It was all new and unnerving… and wonderful at the same time. He smiled contently as he heard her breathing beside him. He turned to watch her sleep. She really was beautiful…and a whole two inches taller than he was! Now there was an accomplishment. He couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her…and to have her love in return…  
  
Next to him, Zia was lost in her own thoughts. Her life and the lives of those she now loved were in danger because of her…yet she'd never been happier. Tallest Blu had known there was something between them – he'd seen it from the start. He'd seen what she hadn't been able to see up until a few months ago. Zim might not have been the model Irk that the other Diplomats said she was destined for…but it didn't really matter. She was in love was going to be a mother. And she had someone who would be there with her through it all. She smiled to her self and turned to look at Zim…only to find that he was already staring at her. He looked a little embarrassed at having gotten caught.  
  
There were no words exchanged. She buried herself in his arms and he kissed her forehead. Then they both fell asleep, together and totally in love.  
  
At the foot of the bed, GIR seemed to be dreaming about dancing. 


	18. Chapter 17 - Passing Time With The Polit...

Chapter 17 – Passing Time with the Political Refugees  
  
Not much exciting seemed to be happening on Earth, so the girl behind the keyboard decided to spend a chapter out in space with the Tallest (yay!). The small transport they were traveling on was passing the Ford Galaxy as the digital screen on the wall signaled the beginning third month of the trip.  
  
In the common room of the transport, Red and Purple, disguised in ordinary traveler's garb, sat on a circular couch in the center of the room. They had a tray of food sitting between them and were poking at it with their forks. Purple sighed, "How much longer will it take to get to Earth?"  
  
Red flipped through a traveler's guidebook. "According to this it'll be another three months." He jabbed at a pile of glop on the tray and it hissed. He jumped back, startled.  
  
"I'll be glad when we're off this transport," Purple said, choking down what looked like really old space meat. He swallowed hard and glanced around nervously. "I can't believe there're so many people going to Earth," he said.  
  
"Yeah," Red agreed, "Do you think it has anything to do with those 'Guys in Black' Zim keeps talking about?"  
  
"Maybe," Purple shrugged, "But you'd think we would have known if there were other aliens living on Earth…wouldn't we?"  
  
Red started to reply, but a voice from behind them cut him off. "The ones that travel to Earth are the ones that don't want to be found."  
  
Red and Purple both turned to see a humanoid male with pale blue skin and black hair sitting behind them on the other side of the couch. He looked middle-aged, with a five o' clock shadow, and a scar over his right eye. The Tallest-in-disguise gulped nervously.  
  
"W…were you talking to us?" Purple asked, looking around to make sure there was no one else there.  
  
"You asked a question didn't you?" the man said, "I knew the answer – so I told you."  
  
"Yeah…" Red said, "So…I'm guessing you're one of those who don't wanna be found?"  
  
"That's why we're all here," the man said, "Well…that's why they're all here anyway…myself…I just needed a quiet place to retire."  
  
"Retire?" Purple said, "Isn't it a little early for that? I mean, you can't be more than –"  
  
"I'm 287 years old," the man said, "I think I've earned a quiet retirement. A life's work in the smuggling business will do that to you."  
  
"Why are you telling us this?" Purple asked. Red took a bite of his space meat and nodded, as if the same question had been in his mind.  
  
"It's not illegal, is it?" the man shrugged, "Besides – you two don't seem any better off than I am. Speaking of which – why are you two headed to Earth? What're you running away from?"  
  
"We're not running from anything," Red said indignantly.  
  
"Oh everyone's running from something," the man said, "So what is it? Political trouble? You boys didn't kill anyone, did you?" He grinned, sensing how tense they were.  
  
"That's none of your concern," Red said.  
  
"Yeah," Purple agreed.  
  
The man raised a hand and chuckled softly. "Now now, boys. No need to get worked up about it," he said, "If you don't want to tell me – by all means, keep it to yourselves." He pulled out a death-stick and lit it. "We're all nameless wanderers here anyway. We've all got our secrets." He put the death-stick to his lips and inhaled. (A/N: Death-sticks are STARWARS versions of cigarettes. Just FYI.)  
  
Purple stood up, took Red by the arm and began to lead him away. "Ok well, it's been nice meeting you, uh…sir. But we've gotta be going!" he said, flashing a false smile, then muttered, "C'mon Red…let's not bother the nice man anymore." Purple had almost pulled Red away, when he reached back, grabbed a biscuit off their tray, and then let himself be dragged off.  
  
Once the pair had gone, the man pulled out a small communicator. He pressed a button on the side and spoke into it in a harsh whisper. "Jasten – you there? It's Rourke."  
  
The comm. emitted a bit of static and then, very clearly, Shyra Jasten's voice came through. "What have you got for me, Rourke?"  
  
"The Tallest are heading your way, doll-face," he said.  
  
On the other end of the line, she cringed at the nickname.  
  
"You might wanna keep an eye out for them," Rourke continued, "You know they're after the same thing you are. Do you need any assistance?"  
  
"Have I ever needed assistance, Rourke?" Shyra snapped.  
  
"Well, you better get this done quickly, Jasten," he said gruffly, "The Boss still hasn't forgotten what you did to his space yacht."  
  
"You think I don't know that?" she said irritably, "I told him he'll get his money and he'll get it. Now just keep out of my business." There was a long silence. For a moment Rourke thought she had hung up. But then he heard her mutter, "Thanks for the tip," before she cut the connection.  
  
He pocketed his comm. and blew a ring of smoke in the air.  
  
* * *  
  
Shyra tossed the communicator across the dashboard of the Wraith Shadow angrily. She knew how important the money from this job was. Rourke didn't need to remind her of the failure of her last mission. It was humiliating even to remember it…  
  
…It had been barely a month ago. She had been chasing her bounty half-way across the galaxy. He had led her to the home planet of the Bounty Hunter's Guild. She had chased him through the busy cities and dark alleys. He was running out of energy – while she was still going strong. She finally cornered him in the Boss's space yacht, down in the engine rooms. He had found the Self-Destruct button. Rather than be caught – he destroyed the ship and himself with it, along with a workload of valuable droids. She had gotten off before the detonation, but failed to locate his body afterwards. Since it had been his body her employer had wanted, she did not receive her payment. And she was in debt of €100, 000 to the Boss, as payment for his demolished yacht…  
  
This new job was paying €150,000, which was enough to pay him off and still pay the rent as well. She needed to get this over with and fast. She put her feet up on the dashboard sullenly, and submitted to boredom as she waited for ZS-567 to return with the newest status report.  
  
* * *  
  
By this time, Red and Purple had reached the other end of the ship and entered their private quarters (which was just a fancy way of saying a tiny closet with bunk beds in it). Purple shut the door behind them and wiped the sweat off his brow. "That guy gave me the creeps," he said.  
  
"Tell me about it," Red said, sitting down on the bottom bunk, "You can't trust anybody these days."  
  
Purple shivered and hugged himself, "I'd feel better if we had some SIR units around for protection."  
  
"We can't risk bringing attention to ourselves, remember?" Red said, "Besides, there's a cargo ship full of them following behind us." He stretched out on the mattress, bored.  
  
"There is?" Purple asked.  
  
"Yeah," Red said. Purple moved towards the window. "Don't bother looking for them," Red told him, "They've got their cloaking device on."  
  
"No, they don't," Purple said, staring out the window, "They're right there."  
  
"WHAT???" Red cried. He bolted upright so fast he hit his head on the slats of the top bunk, "Ow!" Grumbling and rubbing the bump on his head, he came up next to Purple at the window. And sure enough, their cargo ship was floating behind them in plain sight. "Of all the idiotic -," Red started. He rolled up his sleeve to reveal a small comm. He pressed its side and said, "Um…hello?? Where's the cloaking device??"  
  
There were a lot of confused noises from the other end of the line and a constant string of apologies, and then the cargo ship vanished from sight.  
  
"That's better," Red said, shutting off the comm., "Really…the morons you meet in this business." He walked away from the window and flopped down on his bunk again, having had enough of the whole situation.  
  
"Red…What's the matter?" Purple asked nervously.  
  
"I'm sick of pretending to be low-lifes," Red said, "I just wanna go back to Irk where we have cable TV and servants to wait on us all day long and people to boss around…you know, the good stuff…"  
  
"You know we can't do that yet," Purple said, "Aside from the very real physical danger to our persons that exists there, we have to pick up those documents from Zia before the bounty hunter gets them."  
  
"Oh…yeah…" Red said, "I knew that…"  
  
"Good," Purple said, climbing up into the top bunk, "So maybe you'll stop complaining for the rest of the trip?"  
  
"Oh all right," Red agreed, "I'll try."  
  
"Thank you," Purple said, shutting his eyes.  
  
After a long moment of silence, his eyes opened again as Red's voice broke the peacefulness, "How come YOU get the top bunk??" 


	19. Chapter 18 - A Few Months in Summary

A/N: This is by far the shortest chapter I have ever written (or will ever write). Sorry for it's shortness, but I wanted to speed things along, and this was the best way. Enjoy! Sam ^_~  
  
Chapter 18 - A Few Months.In Summary  
  
Skool started up again not long after Zim and Zia got settled back into the base. The teachers all realized how much they missed tormenting children, so they agreed to return to work with only a 5% raise. And as the children were all moping about having to be back in Skool, no one bothered Zia about the two weeks she had been absent. Her little fan-club of girls from their class seemed to have all but forgotten about it and was all too happy to see her again. Their opinion of Zim, however, refused to change, and the girls stuck their noses up disapprovingly every time they saw the couple together. Dib was keeping surprisingly quiet. He was much too busy, designing blue- prints for the modifications for his probe droid, to bother with the aliens for the time being. And Gaz, who could really have cared less about exposing aliens, just stuck to her GS2, same as always. APU followed Zia around as much as he could, but he now had to divide his attention between his Mistress and her unborn children. He had never felt GIR was of much use to anyone, but over the past few months, he grew thankful for GIR's help. Needless to say, GIR's kind of help was not always helpful, but at least he was willing. The babies were growing nicely, and right on schedule, which was surprising since the egg was laid naturally, without any chemical-aid. The egg shell had dissolved and the fetuses had attached themselves to the incubation tube. Computer kept them under constant supervision, which was a comfort to everyone in the house. Twice the base was raided by Jasten and her probe droids, but both times she had been unsuccessful at finding the entrance to the actual base. Actually, she did find the elevator in the toilet, but it was built for Irkens, not humanoids, so she got stuck and had to be pried lose by ZS-567. She got out an instant before Zim and Zia got back from Skool. Overall, things were pretty normal. At Zia's request, Zim had stopped trying to eliminate life on the planet, and stuck to information retrieval, like he was supposed to. Zim obliged, being keen to please her. And please her he did. Out in space, the refugee transport entered Earth's solar system, heading for its destination: The Interstellar Check-in Station, NY, NY. 


	20. Chapter 19 - The Hatchlings Are Activate...

Chapter 19 - The Hatchlings Are Activated  
  
It was an early Sunday morning. Exactly four months had passed since the egg had been laid. Zim and Zia were fast asleep, with GIR curled up at the foot of their bed and APU keeping constant surveillance over the house. But the peaceful scene did not last much longer, as an alarm started blaring!! Both Zim and Zia bolted upright in bed and GIR was knocked to the floor. "What is going on?" Zim demanded, annoyed and a little worried. Computer's voice answered him, "The incubation is over. Activation will begin in one minute." The alarm died down. "Just FYI," Computer added. Zia beamed and grabbed Zim's hand excitedly, "Come on! We can't miss this!" Then she hurried out of the room and down to the lab, dragging a very disoriented Zim behind her. APU came up beside GIR, "What's happening?" "BABIES!!!" was all GIR said before running out of the room. APU stood still for a moment, a confused look on his face. His eyes widened as the most likely situation dawn on him. "Ohhh." he said and headed out of the room. * * * Zim, Zia, GIR and APU stood in front of the incubation tube as a make-shift cold-unfeeling-robot-arm prepared to activate the babies. "Beginning Activation," Computer said, just for procedure's sake. Zim put an arm around Zia as the metal arm moved towards the tube. The glass container was cracked open like an egg and both hatchlings fell to the floor, dripping with the Kronisian jelly. The arm then attached a jet- pack to each of their backs. Zia and Zim both winced as they watched, never realizing that that's how it was done. Then the first hatchling was activated, and stood up quickly. "Girl," Computer informed them. The second hatchling was activated a second later. "Girl," Computer said again. And really the only way you could tell is that both babies had big black eyelashes jutting out from their eyes. Zia put a hand to her mouth, blinking back happy tears. "They're so beautiful." she whispered. And indeed, they were adorable little girls. One had green eyes and one had magenta. Their antennae were a mix of their parents, curled, but still angular. They just stood their blinking for a few moments, then the one with magenta eyes noticed their audience and waved a tiny hand at them. Zia suppressed a squeal and knelt down in front of them. "Hello, girls," she said gently, scooping them both up into her arms, "Hello." Both girls clung to their mother, shivering. It was a drastic temperature change from the incubation tube to the outside world. "Computer?" Zia said. And instantly, the metallic arm brought out two soft blankets, which she wrapped the babies in. GIR hurried over to Zia, being surprisingly quiet and calm. "Babies." he said. "That's right, GIR," Zia said, "Our babies." GIR clenched his fists, grinning and shaking with excitement. Unable to control himself any longer, he began running around the lab screaming, "I LIKE BABIES!!!" Zia smiled and turned to Zim. "Honey? Are you ok?" Zim was standing stock still, mouth open a bit, eyes wide and kind of misted over. Girls.his children were girls.It didn't seem possible.how could he have borne no sons? Would he have no one to carry out his legacy now? No one to follow in his footsteps? It was.devastating. Zia came over to him, looking concerned. "Zim.stop that.say something." Zim snapped out of his trance and looked at his daughters - not sons, but daughters. And all of a sudden, the empty void that had begun to consume his being was filled once again. He reached out cautiously with one finger and brushed the cheek of the one with green eyes. She looked at him and grabbed his finger, and held it tight. He tried to pull away, but she held fast. "Heh heh.she's got quit a grip there, doesn't she?" he said, still fighting for his finger. Zia laughed and looked down at the green-eyed one. "I think this one gets her stubbornness from you," she said. Zim's face brightened. "HA HA!! Zim shall have his predecessor after all!! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!" He took the girl into his own arms and she released his finger, only to punch him right where his nose would be (it made a 'doink' sound when she did - lol). He grinned and rubbed his face. "Yes, this one definitely takes after me," he agreed. He tapped his chin with his hand, "Hmm.they'll need names.Computer! Can you think of any?" "Um.not really." Computer said. "What??" Zim cried, "Oh, just put the letters of our names together and scramble them up, would you?" "Um...ok," Computer said. It whirred for a moment, and then the words "MAIZ" and "ZIAM" appeared in big green letters on the main monitor. "Perfect!!" Zim exclaimed, "I'm genius!!" Zia just shook her head and looked down at the pink-eyed baby in her arms. "This one will be Ziam," she said. "And THIS one." Zim said, holding the green-eyed one at arms length, "Shall be called Maiz! And she shall be as AMAZING as her father is!!" APU frowned, "THAT was lame." GIR stopped his running right in front of APU and shouted "I LIKE BABIES!!" at him. APU took a step back in disgust and then was hugged forcefully by the deranged little SIR unit. * * * Shortly after, the living room floor opened up and the new Irken family, along with GIR & APU emerged from the elevator. APU turned to Zia, "Mistress, if you'll not be needing me, I'll resume my duties." Zia nodded and APU disappeared in a blur of motion. Ziam squirmed in her mother's arms and Zia looked down at her, "What is it? Are you hungry?" she asked. The infant nodded and Zia looked to Zim, questioningly, "What should we feed them?" Before Zim could answer, GIR popped up in between them. "TACOS!" he cried, holding one in each hand. "No, GIR," Zim said, annoyed, "We shall not let our children be raised on Earth filth." But Maiz was reaching for the taco hungrily. Zim pulled her away from GIR quickly, and she bit his hand. "OUCH!!" he cried, "Why you little -" "ZIM!" Zia said, shocked. But Zim was trying to shake Maiz off of him. "Get her off me!! Get her off me!!" Zia reached out and took hold of Maiz. On contact, Maiz let go, and hung limply in Zia's grasp. "That's better," Zia said, as Zim surveyed the damage. His glove was torn and bits of purple blood were dripping from the open wound. "Can we get rid of that one?" he asked angrily, pulling the ripped glove off of his bleeding hand. "No, we can't 'get rid' of her," Zia said. She set both girls down on the couch and turned towards her mate, "She couldn't have hurt you that much .oh my gosh.never mind." She pulled a first-aid-kit out of her jet pack and reached for his hand. * * * "Why can't they both behave like this one?" Zim asked, gesturing towards Ziam with his good hand. He and Zia were sitting on the living room floor, and Zia was bandaging his bitten hand. On the couch, GIR was entertaining the girls with his toys. Ziam was cradling a stuffed puppy, while Maiz was trying the pop the head off a rubber pig. GIR was horrified. "NOO!!! Don't hurt the piggy. Hurt the moose." He handed her the rubber moose in exchange for the pig. It made little difference to Maiz, as she began biting on its rubber antlers (and they stretched like pizza cheese!). "I don't know." Zia said, glancing over at the girls, "Maybe something went wrong with her programming. I mean even you were never this much trouble when we were little." She put the first-aid-kit back in her jet pack. APU, who had been watching the whole thing, very amused, walked over to them. "Perhaps, Mistress, Maiz is having a negative reaction to her environment. As you well know, Irken babies are programmed to handle procedure and order in their lives from the moment they are activated. This unorganized environment, being a very far cry from the Nest, may be confusing and upsetting her, therefore causing the disobedient behavior." Zia and Zim both blinked at him for a moment. "But what about Ziam?" Zia asked, "She seems perfectly all right with it." "Ziam may be better programmed for adaptation," APU said, "Either that or she's just weird." "Weird or not," Zim said, "I definitely like her better." They all looked back towards the couch. Maiz had just succeeded in tearing the head off the moose, and GIR was having a fit. Ziam was staring at them both, wide-eyed. "Wonderful," Zim said sarcastically, "Now we've got three babies in the house." Zia just sighed and shook her head. 


	21. Chapter 20 - Raising Babies...When You R...

Chapter 20 - Raising Babies.When You Really Don't Know How  
  
After a breakfast of tacos and milk, Zia took the girls back down to the lab to get them uniforms. Computer had already been making them, so it only took a few minutes to get them dressed. Zia sat them in front of a mirror once they were finished. Ziam put a hand on the glass curiously, while Maiz attempted to stand on her own. When she was unsuccessful, she folded her arms and pouted.  
  
Zia grinned and placed her hands around the little girl's waist and lifted her onto her feet. Then she let go slowly, keeping her hands only a few inches away, incase she was needed. Maiz wobbled on her little legs and then fell backwards.  
  
Zia caught her and Maiz looked up at her, almost as if she hadn't wanted help. Zia gulped nervously, and then Maiz hugged her mother's arm tightly. Relief swept over Zia. Maybe Maiz could be taught to behave. Her joy turned to confusion when Maiz spoke her first words, "Thanks Lady."  
  
". 'Lady'.?" Zia echoed, "No, Maiz," she said, turning Maiz around so they were face to face, "I'm Mommy."  
  
"Mommy!" Ziam said, crawling over to hug Zia's arm.  
  
"That's right," Zia said.  
  
"Lady," Maiz said stubbornly.  
  
Zia rolled her eyes, giving up for the time being. She took both girls in her arms and carried them back upstairs.  
  
In the living room, Zim looked up when Zia and the girls returned. "Excellent," he said, "Now, I was thinking we should issue them their first laser pistols."  
  
"Zim," Zia said, "Do you really want to issue Maiz a weapon right now." She winced as Maiz reached up and yanked on one of her antennae.  
  
"Hmm.good idea," Zim said, "But I think Ziam could handle one." He took Ziam from Zia and handed her a tiny silver pistol. She took it cautiously, and then placed it in her jetpack.  
  
In Zia's arms, Maiz squirmed incessantly, wanting a blaster of her own. "No, Maiz," Zia told her sternly, "You can't have one until you learn to behave." Maiz folded her arms stubbornly, but stopped trying to escape her mother's grasp. "That's better," Zia said, "Now who am I?"  
  
"Lady," Maiz said.  
  
Zia sighed, "And who's holding Ziam?"  
  
"Mommy," Maiz said."  
  
"Eh?" Zim said, cocking an eye-brow, "What did she call me?"  
  
"'Mommy'," Zia said.  
  
"What?? Zim is not 'Mommy'!!" he cried, then he stopped to think a minute, "What should they call me?"  
  
Ziam hugged him and said, "Daddy!"  
  
Zim shrugged, "I guess that'll work."  
  
* * *  
  
Far from this semi-peaceful scene, at the Interstellar Check-In Station in NY, NY, Red and Purple were just getting out of a medical exam. And neither one looked very happy. Red looked annoyed, while Purple looked downright violated.  
  
Purple shivered, "If I had known that transport would take us here, I would have rather taken the risk of traveling in one of our own ships."  
  
"Oh quit complaining," red said, "It won't do any good."  
  
"Where are we going now?" Purple asked, as he and Red walked through the lobby of the Check-In Station.  
  
"To find the ship with our fleet of SIR units," Red said, "We have to find disguises for them if we're going to be out in the open."  
  
"Don't we need disguises for ourselves?" Purple asked.  
  
* * *  
  
Back at the Membrane household, Gaz was trying to watch TV, but Dib kept running in front of the screen. After a few minutes, she got fed up and threw the remote at him, hitting him square on his big head.  
  
"Ow!" he cried, falling over backwards. "What was that for?" he asked, sitting back up.  
  
"What are you doing?" Gaz asked.  
  
"I'm looking for my X-Scope," Dib said, "If my calculations are correct, Zia's egg should hatch today and I want to -"  
  
"Really?" Gaz asked, suddenly more interested in what her brother had to say than the TV.  
  
"Yeah," Dib said, surprised at his sister's sudden interest.  
  
"Can I come?" Gaz asked.  
  
"I don't see why not," Dib shrugged.  
  
"Great! Let's go," Gaz said. She hopped off the couch, grabbed her brother by the arm and began dragging him towards the door.  
  
"Wait, Gaz!" Dib cried, "I don't have my equipment yet!"  
  
"You won't need it," Gaz said.  
  
At that moment, Prof. Membrane stepped out of the kitchen. "And where are you two going?"  
  
"To Zim's house," Gaz said.  
  
"Oh. Have fun then."  
  
Dib started to say something in protest, but Gaz yanked him out the door and slammed in behind them.  
  
* * *  
  
At the New York City Airport, a very odd family was boarding the plane for Nowhere'sVille, PA. [A/N: I don't really know where Zim lives, and this is where I live, so I'll use that.] The family consisted of two adults, each exactly six feet tall and a fleet of little children who were acting like soldiers.  
  
In reality, it was Red and Purple and all their SIR units (but you knew that ^_^). Purple was dressed in baggy khaki pants, a white button down shirt, and contacts like Zim's. He had topped off the outfit with a denim baseball cap. Red was wearing a red-haired wig, contacts, make-up, and a very slimming black dress (complete with high-heels). The SIRs were all using hologram projectors to look like identical boys and girls, and each was wearing an adorable sailor's suit.  
  
Red scowled, "Why do I have to be the girl?" he hissed.  
  
"You know why," Purple said, straightening his cap, "You lost the toss."  
  
Red grumbled a string of curse words under his breath and Purple could resist teasing him.  
  
"You know, Red," he said, "That's not very lady-like of you."  
  
Red growled at Purple, then stuck his would-be-nose in the air and started to walk away. Unfortunately, he was so unused to walking (plus we all know how hard it is to walk in heels), that he tripped and fell flat on his face. Purple giggled and the SIR-children just stood where they were, unsure if they should help him or not.  
  
Gathering all his dignity, Red stood himself back up and continued towards the boarding platform of their plane. Purple just shook his head and followed after, being flocked by the SIR-children. 


	22. Chapter 21 - Uncle Dib and Aunt Gaz

A/N: Hey loyal readers! I need your help!! I have a story in the Originals- Sci-Fi section called "Nowehere'sVille, PA". So far, only one chapter is up, but I need reviews for it!! The actual story is for my High Skool Graduation Project, and part of the end result is supposed to be reviews I've gotten!! So please, if you guys have some extra time, find that story and put up a quick review for me! Thanks a million!!! ~Invader Sam~  
  
Chapter 21 - Uncle Dib and Aunt Gaz!  
  
"Maiz, get down from there!" Zim cried. Maiz hung suspended above her father, holding onto the wires on the living room ceiling with her metallic- legs.  
  
She laughed and waved down at him. "Hi, Mommy!"  
  
"For the hundredth time - I am NOT 'Mommy'!" Zim said, frustrated, "Now come down here before you hurt yourself."  
  
"OK!" Maiz said, and the spider-legs let go of the wires. She fell from the ceiling. Zim scrambled to catch her, and when he did, she frowned. He breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
Off to one side, APU crossed his arms in disapproval. He glanced over where Zia and GIR were trying to teach Ziam to walk on her own. Zia was kneeling on the floor, arms outstretched, while GIR held Ziam's hands and led her across the carpet.  
  
"Look!" he said excitedly, "Baby's walking!"  
  
"That's my girl," Zia said as they reached her. GIR let go and Ziam fell forward into her mother's lap. Zia smiled and lifted Ziam high above her head, "You're a smart one, aren't you?" she said. To this Ziam squealed with delight and clapped her hands.  
  
Zim watched Zia and Ziam as he allowed Maiz to sit on his back and tug on his antennae. Zia was positively glowing. This parenting thing seemed to come so naturally to her. He sighed, but was brought back to reality with a particularly rough tug from Maiz. "Would you cut it out already??" he growled, pulling her off his back and sitting her on the floor in front of him, "I'm really getting sick of you, you know that?? Why can't you act like THAT one??" He pointed angrily at Ziam.  
  
Maiz looked over at her mother and sister. When she turned back towards Zim, there were tears in her eyes and her lower lip was trembling. Before Zim could even realize what he'd done, she began to wail. He cringed.  
  
Shocked, Zia almost dropped Ziam. "What did you do?" she demanded. "What - me??" Zim said, "It was her!! Why can't I have that one??"  
  
Zia frowned, handed Ziam to GIR and picked Maiz up, tenderly rocking her until her sobs resided. "That's right," Zia said softly, "It's ok.Daddy didn't mean it, did you?" she shot a glare at Zim.  
  
"Yes I - I mean." Zim stammered, faltering under Zia's stare, "Of course not."  
  
Maiz didn't seem to be buying it. She and Zim glared at each other for a long moment. GIR, still holding Ziam up, looked from one to the other. After a moment, his eyes went swirly and he fell over. Ziam, having no support now, fell backwards with a small, "Oof."  
  
Suddenly, Computer's voice broke the silence. "WARNING!! Unknown.er . pretty well-known intruders."  
  
"Eh?" Zim said, breaking away from the staring contest with his daughter. He walked over to the door and pressed the button that let him look right through it. Dib and Gaz were standing on the step, the Gnomes seemingly dismantled. Zim turned to Zia, wondering what to do.  
  
"Well don't just stand there," Zia said, setting Maiz next to Ziam and standing up, "Let them in."  
  
"WHAT???" Zim exclaimed, looking horrified, "Are you insane?? I don't want the Dib-creature coming in here and exposing our off-spring!!"  
  
"He looks pretty un-armed to me," Zia said, coming over next to him and putting a hand on the doorknob. Zim clutched his head, looking panic- stricken, as she pulled the door open. "Hi!" she greeted the Earthlings cheerfully.  
  
"Hi," Gaz said, "Dib said your egg should've hatched today so -"  
  
"Where are they??" Dib asked excitedly.  
  
"Right here," Zia said, letting them in, much to Zim's dismay.  
  
As soon as Dib saw the girls, his expression changed from journalistic curiosity to amazement and awe. Ziam waved at him and he moved to pick her up, but Zim smacked his hands away.  
  
"You will not touch my children, Dib-thing!" he declared.  
  
Dib looked a little dejected. Then he felt something grab his leg and he glanced down, "Huh?" Ziam had crawled over to him and was hugging his leg. He smiled and reached down to pat her on the head.  
  
"Hi!" she said.  
  
Dib was a bit taken aback, "Um.hi. How is she talking already? She can't be more than half a day old!"  
  
"As I've told you a million times, DIB," Zim said, "Irkens are much more advanced than you human stink-beasts. The girls should be completely mobile by tomorrow."  
  
"Boy, that must suck," Gaz said, squatting down to get a good look at Maiz.  
  
"What do you mean?" Zia asked.  
  
"Human babies take months before they can move on their own," Gaz said, "Usually that gives their parents time to get used to them before they have to start chasing them everywhere."  
  
Zim and Zia exchanged nervous glances. That was something they hadn't counted on.  
  
Dib caught their worried expressions and grinned. "Surely a pair of ADVANCED aliens like you should be able to two babies, right ZIM?" Zim was about to reply, when Maiz threw one of GIR's toys at Dib's head. "Ow! Hey!"  
  
Maiz laughed, picked up another toy and hit it against the floor.  
  
"NOOO!" GIR cried, taking the toy away from her, "Don't hurt the piggy!!"  
  
Maiz let the robot take the piggy, and picked up a chicken toy. She began chewing on its head.  
  
As Dib rubbed his head, Zim smiled. "I changed my mind," he said to Zia, "I like that one best."  
  
Zia just smiled and shook her head. Then she walked over to where Gaz was now letting Ziam use her arm for support as she tried to stand. "Aren't their heads a little big?" Gaz asked, "I mean, doesn't it over-balance them?"  
  
Zia shrugged, "Apparently not. I mean, this is the way we were all born, and we're doing just fine."  
  
Gaz nodded. Ziam lost her balance and clutched Gaz's arm tightly. Gaz suppressed a smile. "What are their names?" she asked.  
  
"Well," Zia said, kneeling down next to her, "This one here is Ziam. And the one that attacked your brother is Maiz."  
  
Gaz picked up Ziam, holding her at arm's length. Ziam smiled and reached out towards Gaz affectionately. "They are kinda cute," Gaz admitted.  
  
Zia beamed.  
  
Meanwhile, Zim was sitting Indian style with Maiz in his lap. Dib sat across from them, watching Maiz gnaw on the chicken toy. "How do you plan on disguising them?" he asked.  
  
"Huh?" Zim asked.  
  
"Well, you never really got rid of that bounty hunter," Dib said, "So it's probably not safe to leave them home alone. And how would you explain yourself bringing them to skool?"  
  
Zim considered this. It certainly did prove to be a problem. "That is none of your concern, Dib-worm," he said after a moment, trying to hide his worry. "Right," Dib said sarcastically.  
  
As Zim had been thinking, Maiz had crawled out of his lap and over to Dib. She tugged on his pant leg and he looked down at her. "What?" he asked her.  
  
"Who're you?" she asked, looking more incredulous than curious.  
  
"Uh.Dib," he said, then a thought struck him and he grinned, "Uncle Dib."  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Zim cried.  
  
"Unca Dib," Maiz repeated.  
  
"That's right," Dib said, smirking.  
  
"No it's NOT!!!" Zim protested, flailing his arms wildly.  
  
"I think that's cute!" Zia said.  
  
Zim slapped his forehead in frustration. This couldn't be happening! That horrible DIB!!!  
  
"I guess that makes me Aunt Gaz," Gaz said.  
  
"Ann Gaz!" Ziam said.  
  
Zim growled and pounded his head against the couch. Leaning against the doorframe between the living room and kitchen, watching everything, APU smirked.  
  
Soon after, Dib and Gaz were on their way out. Zia waved them off and then shut the door quickly. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
Zim just glowered in the direction of the door. "I can't believe you let them get away with that," he said.  
  
"Would you stop??" she asked, exasperated, "Besides, we've got to worry about other things. Dib made a valid point. What are we going to do with the girls tomorrow?"  
  
Zim looked over at the girls, who were nodding off on the couch, one on either side of GIR. He sighed and shook his head, "I don't know."  
  
APU stepped forward. "Zim, Mistress, have you forgotten about me?" He turned to Zia, "You've proven that I don't need to keep constant vigilance over you, Mistress. I think I can handle keeping the girls safe for a few hours everyday."  
  
"It's not just that, APU," Zia told him, "Who'll keep them out of trouble?"  
  
"I like babies," GIR said, "I can watch 'em!"  
  
Zim groaned, "We're doomed." 


	23. Chapter 22 - Parenting...is Not For Irke...

Chapter 22 - Parenting.is not for Irkens  
  
The rest of the afternoon went by without much trouble, and by the time evening rolled around, the twins were bushed. Relieved, Zim and Zia carried the girls to the sleep chamber they'd had prepared. Zia tucked them into their crib lovingly. Ziam curled up with the stuffed puppy she'd had before, and Maiz just kicked off the blankets and sprawled out on the mattress.  
  
Zim leaned on the railing of the crib, watching them, and let out a contented sigh. Zim put a hand on her shoulder, and she glanced over at him. "They look so innocent when they're sleeping," he said.  
  
She smiled, "I don't know about you, but I'm gonna sleep really well tonight."  
  
Zim nodded, "Most definitely." He yawned, "Well.no time like the present." He took Zia's hand in his and they walked off together.  
  
* * * At about 3 o'clock, the door to Zim & Zia's room slid open, and in walked the twins. Both were fully awake and looking as energized as ever. Maiz was leading, with Ziam close behind, dragging her toy along with her. They both used their metallic legs to climb up on their parent's bed.  
  
Maiz crawled on top of her sleeping father, and giggling, turned to her sister. She put a finger to her lips, "Shh." Ziam nodded, crawling across the bed in between her parents. Maiz, still trying to suppress her own giggles, lifted a fist and brought it down quickly, bopping Zim where his nose should be.  
  
Zim awoke, disoriented. "What the - oh.you." He sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. "Honey.we have company."  
  
"Mmm?" Zia stirred, and looked over at him, "Oh.girls, what are you doing in here?"  
  
"Up!" Ziam said cheerfully.  
  
"Hungry!" Maiz added, putting her hands down on Zim's chest as forcefully as a one-day-old could.  
  
Zim rolled his eyes, "What do you mean you're hungry? You only ate nine hours ago," he said, glancing at the digital clock on the wall.  
  
"Hungry!!" Maiz said again.  
  
Zim groaned. Zia shook her head. "I'll go get them something. You just keep them here." She climbed out of bed and left the room.  
  
Zim sat up, and Maiz slid off of his chest and into his lap. "You're really enjoying this, aren't you?" he asked her, to which she smiled angelically and hugged him around the middle.  
  
At that same moment, GIR, who had been asleep at the edge of the bed, woke up! "BABIES!! Morning!!"  
  
"No, GIR," Zim said, annoyed, "No it's not."  
  
"Aww." GIR said. Then he picked up Ziam and hugged her, "Hi baby!!"  
  
"Hi, GIR!" Ziam said.  
  
Leaning against the far wall, APU sighed and shook his head at the idiocy. "Your disciplinary skills leave something to be desired, Zim," he said curtly.  
  
Zim pretended he didn't hear. He looked down at Maiz, who was now sucking her thumb boredly. He sighed again and put a hand on the top of her head. She looked up at him, shrugged and turned back to stare at her sister and GIR.  
  
The door slid open again, and Zia returned, with a baby bottle in each hand. She sat back on the bed, handing one to Maiz, and then taking Ziam from GIR. Ziam took the bottle gratefully, as did Maiz.  
  
Zia gently rocked Ziam in her arms, trying to coax her to sleep as she drank. It seemed to be working, as the little Irken's eyes began drooping. Maiz drained her bottle and tossed it on the floor, and then she yawned. Zim grinned. His will could outlast hers. He was sure of it.  
  
Three hours later, the girls finally nodded off. Their parents had been sleeping for an hour already. Only GIR and APU remained awake.  
  
APU shook his head, "This is kind of pathetic."  
  
"Huh?" GIR said, looking over at him.  
  
"They have no control over the girls," APU said, "How can they expect to earn their respect if they let them get away with anything they want?"  
  
GIR thought for a moment. You could hear the gears in his head spin. Then they overheated his head and he zonked out, falling face-down on the mattress.  
  
APU groaned and left to make his rounds.  
  
* * *  
  
Elsewhere, that same night, the disguised Tallest and their SIR-children were all stuck at the Air Port in between NYC and NWV (Nowhere'sVille). The plane had run into bad weather and was forced to stop for the night. The place was deserted except for the aliens in disguise, as all the other passengers checked into hotels for the night.  
  
Purple leaned his head on Red's shoulder and moaned, "I hate this planet."  
  
"What's not to hate?" Red asked wearily, "I just decided - I really want Zim to conquer this place so we can wipe out all these idiots."  
  
"Yeah, that'd be nice," Purple said, and the yawned, "Maybe we should send him those battle tanks after all."  
  
"Let's not go too far, now," Red said, "I'm too tired and miserable to make good decisions."  
  
"I'm too tired to think," Purple said, "And these contacts are driving me nuts." He rubbed his eyes tenderly.  
  
"Hey - just be thankful you don't have to wear these shoes," Red said, kicking off his high heels, "My feet are killing me..."  
  
"How long should this take," Purple asked, "once we get to Zim's base?"  
  
"Not long, I hope," Red said brushing a strand of hair out of his eyes, "Once we get those documents, the death threats should stop. Then we can go back home."  
  
"I'm homesick already," Purple said, pulling his knees up to his chest and hugging them.  
  
Red chuckled and put an arm around his fellow Tallest. "You always were the sensitive one, Pur," he said. [A/N: They're just best friends!! That's all!!]  
  
Purple grinned, "And you were always the insensitive one." Then he yawned again and dozed off.  
  
Red shook his head, smiling in spite of himself. Then he turned to the Sir- children. "Sleep-mode, guys. At ease." The SIR-children all sat down simultaneously and switched to stand-by, leaving only the emergency sensors on. Red watched them and then fell asleep as well.  
  
* * *  
  
"GAK!!! We're going to be late for skool!!" Zim cried. He had just woken up and realized that it was almost 8 o' clock! Zia bolted upright, startled awake by his yelling. Maiz and Ziam were also both rudely awakened, and neither of them was happy about it.  
  
Maiz looked about to cry, but she realized no one was paying attention to her, so she decided against it, and just sat, pouting, on the bed as her parents rushed around trying to get ready for skool.  
  
Zim and Zia made record time and were up in the living room with the girls in ten minutes. Zia put the kids on the couch and kissed them both on the head. Then she turned to APU and GIR who were standing off to one side, awaiting instructions. "Just try and keep the base in one piece, ok?" she said, "We'll be back around 3:30."  
  
Both robots saluted, and the adult Irkens hurried out the door.  
  
* * *  
  
"You look a little tired, Zim," Dib said, at the beginning of class, before the bell rang, "The little ones giving you trouble?" Zim said nothing, so Dib continued, "Where are they, anyway? Don't tell me you left them at home with the robots!"  
  
Zim was about to reply when Ms. Bitters' shadow appeared in the room, with the actual teacher following soon after [A/N: It's creepy how she does that, no? ^_^]. "Take your seats, children," she barked, and Dib went grudgingly back to his desk along with the rest of the class.  
  
* * *  
  
Class seemed to drag on forever, and everyone was glad when the final bell rang. There was a stampede of children heading for the door, and no one was surprised when a few of them got trampled underfoot. Once the crowd was gone, Zim and Zia stepped from the building.  
  
"The humans never cease to surprise me," Zia said, wide-eyed as the headed down the front steps of the Skool.  
  
Zim shrugged, "I would have thought you'd have gotten used to them by now," he said, "I mean.how long have you been here?"  
  
Zia stopped walking, "I'm not sure.Maybe six months?"  
  
"That long?" Zim asked, shocked.  
  
Zia grinned at his expression, "I know, doesn't seem possible, does it?"  
  
Zim nodded, "It's certainly been a.um.interesting six months."  
  
"Yeah." she agreed, "But we'd better get home now."  
  
* * *  
  
"Well.the house is in one piece," Zia said, as she and Zim walked up the front walk of the base.  
  
"That's a good sign," Zim said.  
  
When he swung the front door open, however, their hopes were quickly extinguished. The inside of the house was a total wreck. Food was splattered on the walls, the couch was over-turned, the TV was on its side, and there was no sign of anyone.  
  
Zim's jaw hit the floor in disbelief. "How could two infants and two robots make such a mess in seven hours?!?!?"  
  
"Girls!!" Zia called out, looking panicked, "Where are you?!?"  
  
In seconds, Maiz and Ziam emerged from the elevator in the floor and ran to their mother. Zia dropped to her knees and gathered them in her arms. "Don't scare me like that," she told them, hugging them tight, "Did you make all this mess?"  
  
"Maybe," Maiz said, and both girls giggled.  
  
Zim looked around, "Hey.where are GIR and APU?"  
  
As if on cue, the elevator in the floor opened up again and the robots emerged, weary and bedraggled. APU looked around angrily, as if he'd been chasing the girls, and GIR sunk to the floor, exhausted. APU spotted the twins, safely in the arms of their mother, and his eyes narrowed.  
  
"I hope you've realized how much trouble those two have caused today," he said indignantly, marching over to Zia, "It's a miracle the neighbors are so ignorant that they don't notice."  
  
"We had fun!" GIR said, and then fell over on his side, asleep.  
  
Zim rolled his eyes, "Something tells me we weren't cut out for this parenting thing."  
  
APU snorted, "Tell me something I don't know."  
  
"And just what is that supposed to mean??" Zim demanded.  
  
Before APU could answer, Zia cut in, "What do you mean, APU?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Mistress," APU said, letting his hands drop to his sides, "And it's not really your fault - I blame him mostly -," he jerked a thumb at Zim, "But your lack of parental experiences is well.hindering your ability to raise the Schmeets properly."  
  
"It's only been one day," Zia said, standing up, "Give us a break."  
  
APU scowled, "Ziam hacked into the security system and made the alarms go off this morning. While I went rushing off, thinking we were in danger, Maiz raided the fridge."  
  
"I can't believe this!" Zim said and APU looked relieved, "Hacking at only two days old!! That's my girl!!" Zim picked up Ziam and held her up above his head proudly.  
  
APU smacked himself in the forehead, and then rallied again, "The hatchlings need discipline, Mistress. You have to start the early, or they'll never respect you."  
  
"Is respect really what we're aiming for?" Zia asked, looking down at Maiz, "I thought parenting had some sort of love-bond involved."  
  
"Well.maybe." APU said, "But you won't get them to behave that way."  
  
"Hmmm." Zim said, holding Ziam at eye level, "You have a point.but the only discipline I know of is from training in the Irken Army. Hmmm."  
  
"Don't get any ideas," Zia said, her eyes narrowing like an anime character. 


End file.
